What did the bean say to the other bean?
How you been?
I’d probably only drive it from time to time…
But I just can't see myself cleaning it
Me: I wish I had a tail. Genje: Wejrd but okay.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Not unless you count Dracula
Is sphere itself
I relabeled all of the jars in my wife's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is a cumin.
me: Herbert pregnant wife: but what if it’s a b- me: Himbert
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I set the comp password to ‘Homework1st’ my daughter was getting frustrated that every time she asked what I changed it to, I answered. She did every piece of work, including corrections. Then I wrote it down.
Just got done with a company wide upgrade to Windows 10 and let me tell ya. Windows isn’t even compatible with Windows.
On the bus today, I tapped the woman in front of me on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me, but there's some semen on your sweater." She said, "Oh, it's probably just yogurt…" I replied, "Maybe, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt."
Stuck in their apartment with their kid during the COVID quarantine, the Smith’s are desperate to fuck…
So they send little Johnny out on the balcony with a popsicle and a notebook with the directions to log what all the neighbors are up to during the quarantine. After they finished with their twenty minute alone time, Mr. Smith lets Johnny back in from the balcony. ”So, Johnny, what did you find out?” Johnny looks at his notebook: Well, Christopher is practicing his saxophone. The Jones family started a garden on their balcony… The Golds are busy repainting their apartment… And, Mr. and Mrs. Brown are busy fucking.” ”What?! How do you know the Browns were… uh… making love?” Mr. Smith asks. Johnny answers: “Well, because, my friend George Brown was out on his balcony with a popsicle and a notebook!”
Ha! I just foiled your plan!
I think she’s planning to watch the highlights later.
well i cant because he's not here
Capitalist My sincere apologies in advance 😉
Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
Dad: "You're holding a shot gun now."
Because they can go from Dayton to Marion in less than two hours.
but i don't see the point
The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.” The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he’s the village blacksmith.
Turns out, Israel
I said its Narnia business
Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.
I am thankful every day that I live in Canada.
Catching all the chickens that had crossed it
why do rice krispies snap, crackle and pop?
A lot of conditioning
I said maybe
It’s true! I saw it with my own eyes.
I swam for the surface instead