What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2
The plumber listened for a few moments, pulled out a hammer and gave it 2 light taps. “It’s fixed,” he says and hand the doctor an invoice. “$150 the doctor screams? You were here 10 minutes – that’s $900 an hour. I’m a doctor and I only make a 3rd of that.” The plumber said,” Yeah, when I was a doctor, that’s all I made too.”
How low can ya go
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
They didn’t do anything
Me: This is my girlfriend Janine Janine: Hi Wife: What the fuck
There'd be mass confusion.
Shortcake (Sorry, I needed a cake related joke for my first year on reddit)
They are bellow the C level.
They have tiny anty bodies.
but I need to think it, over.
…it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
Because its non stick. Source: my actual Dad.
…but it was fired.
I fell in the mud. Wanna hear a clean one? I took a shower.
A MAN was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window. “What seems to be the problem?” asked the bee. “I’m out of petrol,” the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. ”Try it now,” said the bee. The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. “Wow,” the man exclaimed. “What did you put in my petrol tank?” “BP,” answered the bee.
We all make fun of them, but when we’re inside one at 4am we’re glad they’re around.
shouting thru door “Just leave it outside, Thank you!” (2020 update)
“Sure. Let me tell you, it isn’t what it used to be.”
Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.
There would be mass confusion.
They didn’t do anything at all
Patient: "But doctor, I am not Steven. My name is Mike." Doctor: "I know, I am Steven."
They run at 100 feet a second
I just got kicked out of another funeral home…..