What did the two suicidal people say to each other?
nothing….. they were just hanging….
Put a little boogie in it!
After a while, the son turned to his dad and said "Hey Dad, why can't we just use a sponge ?"
My response; "guess it didn't work out."
He goes home and tears his pants off, eager to show his girlfriend. She looks at him and shakes her head saying "there you go again trying to put words in my mouth".
At the Pearly Gates they're greeted by Saint Peter Saint Peter: I will let you into heaven if you can show me a spirit of Christmas The first man pulls out a leaf from his pocket and says "this represents the Christmas tree" He is allowed into heaven The second man pulls out his keys "these represent bells" He is allowed into heaven The third man pulls out a pair of women's underwear Saint Peter: good lord what do those represent?! The third man says "oh well these, these are Carols"
The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"
The brunette tells them, "I found cigarettes in my daughter's room, I can't believe she smokes! " The red head said, "I know, I found some beer in my daughter's room. I couldn't believe it! " The blonde says "That's nothing! I found condoms in my daughter's room. I never knew she had a penis! "
The bartender goes, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
…but it’s multi-layered and way too cheesy
No text found
A manhole cover
My son got me good. I build websites for a living. He told me he didn’t like the one I was working on, and I should have let a spider do it.
You know. “Cause spiders are naturally good web designers.”
She meets a farmer and challenges him: "If I can guess your profession, I get your dog for free." The farmer agrees. The blonde declares that he is a farmer, and wins the bet. As she's stuffing the animal into the trunk of her Fiat, the farmer says: "if I can guess your real hair color, can I get my pig back?"
The second man dies. That's why you shouldn't repost.
He got pissed at me because he was trying to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.
I feel sublime!
I have a hunch it might be me.
I told him it’s between 8am and 1pm
Now, when I talk, I have this weird Axe-scent