What do you call a banana that takes public transportation?
They both have to pass the bar.
She was definitely checking me out.
Insert punchline here
I hope you’re happy!
They come with that Elon Musk.
Now the steaks are high.
An Eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?” – The friend replies “Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
"Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!" "Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not a adult living in my father's basement." Satan, fighting back tears: "Fuck you, go to hell!"
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
You've seen the mall!
He sure axolotl questions!
Edit: sorry, I not hacked. Mother Russia do no such thing. Have good day comrades.
But nobody will do it.
They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
To get to the other side
There hasn’t been a post all year. Happy New Years from New Zealand
but Samsung anyway.
I’ve adjusted the price to allow for inflation.
He threw in the towels.
They say he had loco motives.
Last Friday night, we felt a little frisky, so we made a trip to the bedroom. For her, everything went great. For me… Not so much. An hour later, I had yet to climax once. So my wife had a brilliant idea. She went to our living room, grabbed some books we'd bought so we could teach our kids to read. Real boring stuff, really. So she cracks one open and starts reading in a monotone. A few minutes later, I'm bored out of my mind. Then, suddenly, she reaches over and starts jacking me off. Bam! Instant fountain. "That was great, but how'd you know that was gonna work?" I asked her afterwards. "Oh, it was easy. Just had to turn you off and on again."
…but I guess I can give it the ol' collage try.
Apparently the paper was Jamming.
So i packed my stuff and right.
Neil before me.
My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow and I am genuinely terrified that the chute won’t open.
Last time something that big hit the earth, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out.
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."