What do you call a black man with a bullet wound?
An ambulance. You call him an ambulance.
Since she can't even beat an egg
I think it's flabbercasting.
Me: I race cars. Her: Do you win many races? Me: No, the cars are much faster.
Because he doesn't want to be spotted
"May I say a word?" Sniffling, the widow agrees. The old man clears his throat, "Plethora" "The widow smiles. "Thanks, that means a lot."
He was really good at spiking the ball!
There's Notre Dame thing we can do about it
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got F**ed to achieve it.
“Just twelve waters please!” Winks at disciples
…. I would have to change my name.
My son's been drinking whisky that's only aged for two years. He's the dumbest thirteen-year-old I've ever met.
A sunken chest with no booty!
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
NV, SC, and Super Tuesday Primary Voters: Show us proof you voted yesterday, and we’ll give you a cool flair! :)
Continuation of this thread, which focuses on the NH Primary.We are planning on expanding the flair program to primary voters in all 50 states. If you have any ideas for perks or extras we can throw in, please let us know via modmail. Right now, only voters from states who’s primaries have either occurred or will occur soon can request flairs.Iowa caucus goers are also encouraged to use the same form to submit their late request. Later states will be given the chance to submit their requests once their primaries or caucuses have occurred.NV, SC, and Super Tuesday Primary Voters: CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FLAIR IF YOU VOTED!Simply provide evidence of your participation (any ‘I Voted’ sticker or other supplemental documents are allowed), and we’ll add a user flair similar to my account to your account.Special Discord Channel AccessVerified voters will also get special access to our exclusive Voter Only Discord channel. To gain access to this, include your Discord account ID in your above submission, and we’ll add you to this channel.Have a good day!
I told her, "no, I think all kids smell like that."
Not everyone of you, of course.
I’m not going to spread it!
Then why did my girlfriend get pregnant even though we didn’t have sex?
Despite having a huge fan base.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
They are in for a rude awakening.
Because seven was a well known six offender
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
It's called "wedding cake."
My dad passed away last year because my family didn’t know blood type in time for the doctors to do a transfusion.
As he was dying he kept saying "be positive" but it's hard without him.