What do you call a dad joke when it gets old?
A grandpa joke
I have started freezing different objects at -273.15°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.
I call it the 0k boomer experiment.
Because one more bean would be too farty.
B – Bad R – At O – Acronyms K – E –
Stamp – licky-sticky Defibrillator – hearty-starty Bumble bee – fuzzy-buzzy Fork – stabby-grabby Socks – feety-heaties Nightmare – screamy-dreamy Tennis racket – stringy-swingy Cactus – pricky-sticky Squid – squishy-fishy Horror film – thrashy-slashy Whisky – stinky-drinky Wasp – stingy-wingy Parrot – wordie-birdie Auto-correct – writey-righty Lifejacket – boaty-coaty
is technically, not a question
Last night, for example, I couldn’t fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.
Lots O' Matzoh Spin the Ladle Latkes of Love And for vegans: Soy Vey!
The girl points at the mom’s pubic hair and says “Mommy, what’s that?” The mom, not knowing how to respond, replies “Uh, it’s my washcloth”. The daughter accepts this answer and runs off to play. About two weeks later, the mother finds herself in the same precarious situation. “Mommy! Where did your washcloth go?” the girl says in shock. “I lost it, honey” replies the mom. “Ok!” The daughter says as she darts off. Later that night as the mother is on the couch reading a book the daughter runs in, excited, “Mommy!! Mommy!! I found your washcloth!” “You did?! Where was it??” “The maid has it!” the daughter shouted “And she’s washing daddy’s face with it!”
Before you ask her out, she is both single and taken
People were really grateful.
Because I'm Canadian.
One shoots but can't hit. The other hoots but can't shit
Edit: four children Second edit: 2 children!
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
Our dates can be summarized as follows: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN!
which is fitting cause I have no idea what DIVOC is going on
… I can do it with my eyes closed.
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?" Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
Especially because his name’s Steve.
Because they’re really good at it
I am unable to deal with the current situation..
That’s Swede of you
Because they couldn't let it go
…it would become a pomegranite.
post our home made sex tape on PornHub, saying she couldn’t stand the thought of all those strangers masturbating over it. So I put it on Facebook instead.
But you guys didn't like it.
I guess they must be aimed at a younger audience.
My son asked me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, “That’s Superman.”
He said, “Thanks dad, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting. He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.” “What I want you to do,” the man continued, “is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.” So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
Take the front page, it's over 90% recycled content!
It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
They take the psycho path.