What do you call a fish stuck in a tree?
A fish stick!
My 4 year olds first joke.
I refuse to associate with a Hulu-cost denier.
I'd give it 1 star
An ambulance you racist!!
It's the first time I've ever had a father figure
Bruh, Just Snap out if it
But he spends all his time on his dashboard
But my kids are still here.
Now he is a hopster
Because the have got more degrees ! ( Read this one in an old book ! )
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, now in quarantine You can dance, you can jive, but you can’t go outside See that girl, watch that scene, but only through a screen
I just didn't want toupee for it
Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
Fine, suture self.
I couldn’t get a straight answer.
It was framed!
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it.
"It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I’m in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine!" He explains, "It's just that my wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. But it hasn't affected me brothers though."
He was consumed by pride.
Because they lactose.
He said: "dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
I told him I knew a bit
A rubbish truck
He is essentially a giant banner