What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan

OC boomer comics are now limited to Sundays. If it’s satire, it belongs on r/antiboomershumor
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Why did Earth Day not affect /r/jokes?
Because everything is already 100% recycled.
Never iron a four leaf clover…
You don't want to press your luck…
I walked in on my wife on the scale.
She didn't look pleased so I said "suck in your stomach!" She quickly replied, "that's not going to help" I retorted, "it might let you see the numbers"
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.
"I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked. "I said no way," replied the boy. "What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver. "No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy. "Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered. "No!" replied the boy. "What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver. The boy replied: "Listen, Dad, you bought the Prius, you live with it!"
I was going to start an all cashew diet
But then I realized that’s just nuts…
I am a little confused about why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday
I don't know what to make of it
What did the melon say when his girl asked him to run away and get married?
I love you honeydew, but I cantaloupe.
I tell my secrets to all my herbs, except for thyme.
Because only thyme will tell.

My Science Teacher don’t know science
So my science teacher thinks that the nucleus is the power house of the cell. Not the mitochondria. Should we rebel?
It all.
The title says it all.
My father passed this morning. In his honor, I present his favorite joke: why do polish people have ski at the end of their names?
Because they can't spell toboggan. – Stanley G. Kapuscinski
How did Jesus stay so ripped?
Pontius Pilates and CrossFit

A new leaked photo from Nasa reveals an actual photo of Australia taken from the ISS.
https://ift.tt/3361wXD

They have been putting these up every day at work. This was the worst one so far
https://ift.tt/2VYOgkt
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Me: I’m terrified of the Backstreet Boys
Therapist: Tell me why? Me: screams
During this pandemic I’ve been drinking a lot of brake fluid
But it's okay because I can stop whenever I want
What do you get if you cross a sheep dog with a daisy?
A Collie-flower!