What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
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Because everything is already 100% recycled.
You don't want to press your luck…
She didn't look pleased so I said "suck in your stomach!" She quickly replied, "that's not going to help" I retorted, "it might let you see the numbers"
What does the bar tender says when a Neutron enters the bar?”No charge for you sir”
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.
"I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked. "I said no way," replied the boy. "What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver. "No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy. "Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered. "No!" replied the boy. "What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver. The boy replied: "Listen, Dad, you bought the Prius, you live with it!"
But then I realized that’s just nuts…
I don't know what to make of it
I love you honeydew, but I cantaloupe.
Because only thyme will tell.
So my science teacher thinks that the nucleus is the power house of the cell. Not the mitochondria. Should we rebel?
The title says it all.
My father passed this morning. In his honor, I present his favorite joke: why do polish people have ski at the end of their names?
Because they can't spell toboggan. – Stanley G. Kapuscinski
Pontius Pilates and CrossFit
Therapist: Tell me why? Me: screams
But it's okay because I can stop whenever I want