What do you call someone delivering a lot of spices?
You need to let that mango.
We recycle our material every fucking day.
I said, not sure I haven't met everyone yet. She was not amused.
Cause you’re fucking loud and annoying.
Now I have stable wifi.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea
No text found
-Whom, sweetheart? -Dante the mailman. -Dante the mailman? But he could be your father! -But mom, age is just a number. -Sweetheart, I don't think you understood.
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I wish I had a pony.
So i took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
Because one is a repost.
Tuna half minutes!
That was the most violent book I've ever read.
And i knew right away that this isnt working out
You never know when there may be a salad dressing.
I looked at it and said, “This isn’t for me.”
It was the least I could have done for him.
They only do their jobs after they are fired
So they can beat the crowds.
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary for the last forty-three years." St Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?!" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."