What do you dip the worlds largest mozzarella stick in?
The Marinara Trench
He just couldn't bottle it up any longer.
He responded, “can’t complain.”
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Because he conditioned it.
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
But that was a type-O
No text found
In case I get a hole in one…
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning." I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.
But I think deep down they know nothing could be father from the truth.
Because that's when you fast.
I said that makes two of us.
Hermione: Emma Watson?
Finally a turn in the right direction.
So I packed my stuff and right.
A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle. Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters Wife: Apps Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters Wife: Teen Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters Wife: Didn’t Husband: Take a life, 4 letters Wife: Kill Husband: Religious songs, 5 letters Wife: Hymns Husband: Santa’s little helper, 3 letters Wife: Elf
Father: Before or after sex? Son: I don't know what that means? Father: Well there are two different types Son: Umm, before sex. Father: Oh well it looks like an Orchid at dawn just as the sun hits it, with dew drops on it, in a Botanical garden in Spring. Son: Oh woah. What does it look like after sex? Father: It looks like a bulldog just ate a jar of mayonnaise.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
He was really hauling ass.
It was a piece of cake 🍰!!! 😂
The instructor told me that in this school of martial arts, unlike most others, there were eight points of contact to strike with – hands, elbows, knees and feet. He then told me to try striking the punching bag with my knee But I hit it with Muay Thai. (Thanks u/Daedyl)
A person who doesn't believe in dog.
It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around… and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat.
…I'm not sure what I'd do with the other $299,999.75 though.
None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it doesn't screw.
I was having sex with my friend’s wife, the phone rang. I heard it was her husband and I quickly started to get dressed.
She told me not to worry. He was out drinking with me…
But that was Ear-Elephant.
They’re, there, their.
They’re waiting for their turn
28 consecutive press briefings spent washing his hands
He yelled back, "Nah, I didn't pay for my haircut!"
Because you can't see in the dark