What do you give a pig with a rash?
You have to say Leroy, please paint that wall
Weird way to start a conversation.
He's going to he'll.
Moses. He could control sea.
To beat the crowds.
"That's not how field sobriety tests work." replied the police officer
They both got 6 months. P.S this is my first ever post! Please be nive
It’s when I flip your MOM over.
He truly has a one track mind.
I asked my 18 siblings and they don’t know either.
…are the leading cause of dry skin.
You make the punchline apparent.
For supporting me. My arms, for always being by my side. And my fingers, I could always count on them.
I General Lee don’t find them funny
Times new ramen!
It runs in your Jeans.
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
They asked, "Can you perform under pressure?" I said, "No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody."
He claims he wasn’t that much into her anyways.
You can only ran through a campground, because it's past tents.
Just so everybody knows he's an absolute unit.
It's called 'Facebook'
He said yeah but it’s rare.
..and I are watching a movie Me: Why are those piranha's biting that guys butt? My five year old: Because they're BOTTOM FEEDERS! Get it?! BOTTOM FEEDERS
Because he was genetically engine-eared.
I can’t see an end, I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape – I don’t even have a home anymore!
Definitely time for a new keyboard…
She ran away from the ball.
The vicar says, "We don't want your sort in here!" The Higgs-boson particle says "But you can't have mass without me!"
One day he got so angry, he just flipped.
In both cases, you kind of just sit around waiting for shit to happen.
… on the other hand, I'm okay.