What does Keanu Reeves use to dry his tears when Keanu Grieves?
I just sang about eight bars.
This is going to be one hell of a week.
I'll find you. I have contacts.
Dad: Hi pregnant, i'm Dad Wife: No you're not
Because then they'd be bagels.
Now I’m clean.
In charge of the sequence. Yoda was.
We have….a lot in common.
Especially if you go to a party dressed as a land mine.
Just don’t pick it up.
A liquor cabinet.
Milk. Its pasteurized before you can see it
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It was the pot calling the cattle back.
She never hears from them again except for the news that one baby was adopted by a Mexican couple, and the other was adopted by a couple from the Middle East. Years later she hires a private investigator to track down her two adopted children, just so she can find out how their lives have been. After months of searching, the investigator comes back to her with only a single photo of the boy adopted out to the Mexican couple. "There's no photo of the other child!?" the woman says, dismayed. The investigator shrugs. "Geeze, lady! They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Cause I’m not sure – I don’t have 2020 vision. You’re welcome, Dad
I have a hunch, it might be me.
inside jokes 😀
Smiles. Because there is a mile between the S's. Have to give credit to my ten year old daughter for this one… Apparently I'm bringing her up right.
Does that make me an Axe murderer?
The assistant replied “ammonia cleaner” I said “I’m sorry, I thought you worked here”
Orange is the new black.
A man comes home from his job at the pickle factory. “Honey, I got fired today for sticking my dick in the pickle slicer.” Wife: “My God! What’s happened?” Husband: “She got fired too”
Kenya believe it? I'm Ghana miss her.
At any moment, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away…
Love Roman numerals