What is the phobia of chainsaws called?

Hit single scientists in your area

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGVY5OVaz8Y

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high

She seemed surprised

A flat earther posted this on Facebook

https://ift.tt/37u4xBO

My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.

She craves anarchy.

What do you call a pirate’s trash?

Yarrbage

Not to point fingers at either language

https://ift.tt/2NsStcD

My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

I wanted to write a movie script about a retired CIA agent who has to rely on his old skills to save his kidnapped daughter, but that idea was taken.

So I thought instead I'd write a script about a retired CIA operative who is taken hostage along with his wife in Instanbul, but that idea was taken, too.

I own only two types of clothes— I wear my gym clothes when I exercise.

For formal occasions, I wear my James clothes.

“Dad, I’m so excited. I got a B in reading!”

Dad: That’s a D, idiot.

If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.

If I’m being objective, it is Dr. Whom.

Joining the Boys in next year’s edition

https://ift.tt/2D7ssO4

Student: Are well and actually both one syllable words

Teacher: Well yes , but actually no

How come teddy bears never want to eat?

Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?

All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.

Reverse cowgirl is set to be outlawed in Alabama.

Cause you don't turn your back on family.

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop…

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up."