He always leaves you hanging
Thanks for nothing
You will get them VERY ANGRY
But I managed to pull it off.
Bond. Legal Bond.
"I'm a big metal fan."
Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me whether I wanted to watch a movie. She said, “What do you want to see?”
Me: You pick. Her: You pick. Me: I don’t care which movie. You pick. Her: Sir, there are people behind you in line waiting to buy tickets.
It's a trap
I threw some spaghetti her way, but it went right pasta.
They did unspeakable things to me
I thought, “This’ll teach her for being late.”
It had a really hard time choo choo chooing it’s food.
No one knows. But the road will have his vengeance.
Ahhh, it takes me back.
Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.
Would I be mist?
He’ll be born in February.
He finishes his drink and asks for his check. Duck billed platypus.
Don’t worry, she’s in stable condition.
Got my dream job today. I get my own 200 thousand dollar company car and a corner window with a view of the city..
Being a city bus driver is a dream come true.
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
So one Nun can make sure that the other Nun doesn't get none.
He’ll be born in March.
A doctor, a priest and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes
Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude! Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him. Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they? George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge! (silence) Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them. Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
As they're hiking a snake bites one of them in the balls Panicking the other friend ran to get help from a park ranger. He asks the ranger what to do. The ranger says you have to tie off the limb really tight to prevent the venom from circulating and suck the venom out of the bite. The guy runs back to his friend who's laying on the ground in agony. He asks what the park ranger said. "Dude you're gonna die"
Ba Dum Tss
She said: "They're right behind you."