What lies on a seabed and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
Ten or twelve feet away from all musical instruments at all times.
The same thing Arkansas!
… now get ready for Times New Ramen
Two ladies, blonde and a brunette, meet up for lunch. The Brunette tells the blonde that she just had sex with a Brazilian. The Blonde excitedly exclaims, "Oh my god! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?"
But I couldn’t see myself wearing any
There was no coffin at his funeral!
A boa constructor
Guess it was always my way or the huawei i'm so sorry, I tried
Me: What's the bad news? Doctor: You've got 24 hours to live. Me: Then what's the worse news!? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday
Personally, I think it’s a fair price toupee.
But there’s too many drawbacks
…that even Sting has stopped performing "Every Breath You Take."
Because she's an on-call-ogist
If I wanted to disappoint two people in the same room, I would just have dinner with my parents.
But it really went downhill fast.
In my dad•a•base
Step 1, Step 2, Step 4, Step 9, Step 22, Step 23,
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armor…