who having worked for several years, decided that he and his family should have a weekend getaway place. He searched the surrounding country, and found a lovely spot with frontage on a small river. They built a cabin, and began spending time there every chance they got. The kids loved it, and friends came for the quiet and fishing. The engineer, however, wanted something unique for his cabin. He had been an award-winning pole vaulter in college. He therefore built a set of poles with a crosspiece, and a mulched run. He bought a new carbon fiber vaulting pole, new shoes, and was set. He would set off down the run, plant his pole, soar over the crosspiece, and land in the river with a satisfying splash. What a great way to spend a hot afternoon. He tried to teach a few friends to vault, with no success. He enjoyed his cabin for years, and went out early in the spring one year. It had been a very wet winter, lots of rain afterward. When the family arrived, the river was up and flowing at a good clip, with twice the usual current flowing. The engineer was determined to enjoy a few vaults into the water, although his wife didn't think it was safe. But he was a good swimmer and proceeded to have a go at it. His run and jump were flawless, he hit the water in good form, but upon surfacing, he was swept downstream and disappeared. His body was found later that day, tangled in streamside debris. It was a sad end for the engineer and the family sold the cabin, with no desire to return to the scene of such tragedy. Our lamented engineer was a civil engineer. Had he consulted one of his electrical engineer brethren, he would have been warned that "It's not vaultage that kills you, it's the current!"
I told him I didn’t have time to.
He’s a good buoy
I'd probably get bronze.
STARTLED, BRYAN GASPS ,, "FREDDIE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD?" TO WHICH FREDDIE REPLIES "I WAS BUT I WAS BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE BY A VOODOO PRIEST" "VOODOO?", BRYAN ASKS,"WHATS VOODOO?" "WELL BRYAN", FREDDY SAYS, "ITS A KIND OF MAGIC!"
Woman: And a damn good one. I don’t have any sons.
Because travelling through time petrifies them!
As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, "that's a little condescending."
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
I haven’t heard from him since
The doctor says, “5 penises!? How do you pants fit?” The man replies “Like a glove.”
… but she got really upset at me when I actually brought her one.
Best trade ever.
So after a while I decided to give it another try, and it wasn’t half bad. I guess I got off on the wrong foot
She can scream all she wants, she’s not getting my fucking umbrella
But when I do, he laughs.
I thought it would be a piece of cake!
I said no. I can't deal with a high maintenance woman.
If you had called your search engine Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. What would you rather say? "I just Googled Rihanna"or "I just Banged Rihanna."
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
If it isn't 3 holes in the ground…
I would rather have two