What’s big and grey and doesn’t matter?
One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all of the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.
Remains to be seen.
I ain't never been caught in a traffic jelly. Slaps knee
One of the old ladies had a stroke. The other two couldn't reach.
Take the ring off and the house is gone
He was lacktoes intolerant.
He's all right now.
It's because he is the man of steel. One of my students told me he made this up and I couldn't be more proud.
I asked if it was about marching or jazz
Leave me the fuck cologne.
He couldn't say
Who's there? To. To who? (Shakes head) To whom.
You can, but it has to be a cakewalk
Sails are going through the roof!
They’re changing their name to Knockers.
A good time ruined by a period.
They tower under everyone else.
It's a really nice gift, but it's not quite what I meant when I said "I wanna watch"
A vicious circle.
I know there is a joke here but I can't find it.
His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
I wanted a squirter. Or a screamer. Or even a moaner. But no. A sweater.
I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from.
I'm going to call it IP in Pools
Great food, no atmosphere.
No text found
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner… unannounced at 7:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in. Wife: My hair and makeup aren’t done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I am still in my pyjamas and and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home? Husband: Because he is thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo!
Nuts and bolts
They didn't do anything.
It's not stroganoff
It's about raisin awareness.
All that money and nothing to chauffeur it.
They're both reasonably shocked, but are very supportive. They assure him that they still love him, and wish he'd told them sooner. Everything seems to be going great, until the father poses a question to his son that makes the young man really think. "How are you going to focus on college if you're spending all your time being a moderator on Reddit?"
Their number one answer was, “HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE?!”