What’s more Irish than potatoes?
Not having potatoes.
Someone else's pants on. My grandfathers favorite joke.
I was going for my bachelor’s degree.
No text found
Because of all the knights.
Beer nuts are always over a dollar, deer nuts are always under a buck. Goofy, I know, but still makes me laugh 20 years after I first heard it!
B: "If I die, will you find a new boyfriend?" G: "NOOO! I'll never be with another guy, I'll rather go and stay with my sister! What would you do if I die?" B: "I would also stay with your sister"
A lip reader
They'll kill your dog
I immediately burst into tears. 12 years old and he doesn't know my name is Brian
Smiling, I replied, “Tiny!" My kid laughed and asked, “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” I explained, “Because…he’s my newt!"
It’s gone spiral
Be prepared for the reaper cushions.
I'd have $7.20 right now.
Worst virus my college servers has every been exposed to. When you been an online college student and now all these other students are taking online classes and the college servers can not handle this coronavirus
Now I wish I could post it on an other subreddit
They would call it crucifact.
Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal — if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol… Sol… ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
He said, “This book is lit.”
.. There's usually an Irishman & Englishman in this joke but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.
I told her no. I can't stand high maintenance women.
is technically, not a question
Just paramedics and someone else if they’re patient enough
That I came to the door naked or that I knew where he lived
Basically you’re a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
"Where?" "No. Just the regular kind."
Instead of a swear jar I have a pessimism jar, every time I have a negative thought I put a coin in.
It’s currently half empty
A vicious circle.
Even Mother Nature is participating in No Nut November.
The odds were against me.