When truth is not what is Wanted..
To cover its butt quack
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist.
He’s a small arms dealer.
Alpacastan! …I'm not sorry.
Grandma's taking it pretty hard.
Beer nuts are $1.30 deer nuts are under a buck
I guess they just weren't up her alley. God she's such a pinhead.
We got a long well.
Something inside me is telling me yes
It runs on upvolts.
He said they were freebees.
The first was called John and the second was called Jack. They were extremely hungry and thirsty. In the distance, they saw a mosque gleaming in the middle of no where. John suggested to go and pay the mosque's Imam a visit and ask for some food and water. Jack agreed but suggested to change their names to islamic ones so that the Imam would agree to feed them. John: That is pointless and deceiving. We should introduce ourselves with our real names. Jack: No, or else they won't feed us. From now on call me Mohammed. They made their way to the mosque and met the Imam and told him about their despair. The Imam told John: We have a room filled with food and water. As for you Mohammed, have a blessed Ramadan.
because I get sick no matter when I eat them.
They were Prime mates.
They’re a little meteor.
they’re getting out of hand..
She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
The bartender nods and starts pouring 7 glasses of wiskey. As soon as the first glass is ready the man starts chugging, one glass after another. The bartender, dumbfounded, asks the man: 'Why are you drinking so fast?' The man awnsers: 'well, you would do the same as me, if you had what I have,' while chugging the last glass of wiskey. 'So, what is it that you have?' asks the bartender. The man: 'not a single penny'
Jesus asks for a table for 26. The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.” Jesus says, “Yeah, but we’re all going to sit on the same side.”
During the funeral, his mother walks towards the director and says, "Jesus died for your scenes."
Doctors now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever and they assure everyone that he is Staying Alive.
They were out standing in their field
One's really heavy and the other's a little lighter
He didn't listen though.
How different do you think your life would have been if your parents named you Moe instead of Neil and would you still use your full name?
…But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."
thanks for nothing.
Immediately when I got medication for schizophrenia, my friends won't talk to me anymore.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.