When we had sex, my girl didn’t like position A, B, C or D
It be crazy like that
Where do little jokes come from?
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke at a bar and then they knock knock.
Just stay at home, folks.
updated this classic xkcd for modern times
Programmer dad joke on a shirt
This beauty salon for programmers
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.
Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.
Convince me otherwise
Did I mention I’m a vegan who watches anime?
Sympathy for scientists
Here’s to another lousy decade
“Sir, please, I didn’t mess it up at all! That’s what he said!”
TIL Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
After letting out a trumpet of a fart my toddler stopped, gasped and said, “did you just hear that elephant?”
She's going too be a great dad someday.
Yeah that’s enough to stop you forever
Who is the coldest comedian?
xi jinping has coronavirus
He is now called winnie the flu
Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other…
…the NSA will finally read it.
So that’s how it works
My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.
He’s my cousin, twice [removed].
I had a car crash the other day.
I had a car crash the other day. A dwarf got out of the other car and said, “I'm not happy”. To which I replied, “Which one are you then?”
[NSFW] I went for a job interview to become a blacksmith yesterday. The interviewer asked me if I’d ever shoed a horse.
I said no, but I once told a donkey to fuck off.
Fauci facepalm immortalized
Oh yeah, it’s big brain time.
2020 feels like a big Jumanji game
Low effort meme
This is my tier list also
Trump – Abusing My Position (Losing My Religeon cover)
The destroyer of RAM
What an idiot!
What do you call a snake that cleans windows?
A vindow viper
Why news dont have more experts worrking at them.
Out of Touch…
[Announcement] If you keep spamming your youtube channels here then your post will be marked as spam.
Which means that you will not only be banned from posting to this sub but you may get a shadow ban from reddit. Shadow ban means that you will not be able to post anything to ANY subreddit. Just follow the rules before posting.
Because one of them is just completely unacceptable.
Tis the season
Half of DS runs on single core.
My friends and I experimented with sex and drugs when we were in high school.
I was the control group.
Imagine getting this card though..
It do be like that sometime
It be like that, all the time.
Ice Ice Baby
Because boomers all seemed to marry people they don’t want to actually be around…
Give ’em hell, Robert!
Nurses blocking anti lockdown protests
Due to the current economic situation in the world, I’ve started a dating site for chickens…
It’s not my full-time job, I’m just doing it to make hens meet…
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.
My doctor recently wrote me a prescription for daily sex.
My wife seems to think it's for dyslexia.
I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son.
“How long do you have to do that for?” I asked. “When is he too old for it?” “Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age.” “Yeah, shut up Joe – I was talking to your mother.”
Tell the Punchline first.
How do you ruin a joke?
Holy shit that’s boomer as fuck
How can you get the attention of a pervert?
Mark the post with an NSFW tag
The worst part about this is that my dad posted it…
not my fault my playlist is filled with absolute bangers
Call me a racist if you want but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption, and stupidity. I wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole.
I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.
I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched.
So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn't expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom. I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5'2", baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all the right places. I couldn't believe my luck. I asked her what she did for a living. She said she taught sunday school. Now I never had me a Christian girl, but I'm open minded so I took her to dinner. On the way, I lit a joint and asked her if she puffs. "Oh heaven's no, what would I tell my Sunday school children." I said okay, weed's 50/50 some people do some people don't. And I took her to the best restaurant I knew. I ordered the steak, she ordered the lobster. I asked for the second most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. When the waitress came to pour, She said she didn't drink. I said "you don't drink?!?" "Oh heaven's no, what would I tell my Sunday school children." Excellent food, sparkling conversation but i'm bummed out, I don't know what to do with a girl like this. So I'm driving her home and pass a cheap motel, I figure, what have I got to lose. So i ask: "wanna get a room and knock boots?" She says: I thought you'd never ask! I say: Really? What are you gonna tell your Sunday school children? She says: The same thing I tell them every week. You don't have to drink and do drugs to have a good time!
Beer me another beer
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. A bystander quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei. The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?" "It's hard to say." . . Co-written by M0ng078
Poor little guy
I threw an iPhone into a lake the other day.
It's still syncing
Land of the free
Scientists got bored of watching the earth spin for 24 hours.
So they called it a day.
Satan setting us to a trap we learned to love.
How do you get drunk from a glass of water?
Land in it when they're not looking
“Queue” sounds like “q” followed by 4 silent letters, but…
They’re just waiting their turn.
Here we go again..
Deep Boomer Humor