When you finally get the CSS working correctly

After joining r/osha, the phrase….

2015 Mad Magazine art by Richard Williams

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Getting ladies to stop eating Tide pods was relatively easy.

But for whatever reason, it was much more difficult to deter gents.

Set you Wifi password to 244466666

So you can say the password is 123456.

I read a lengthy article about Japanese sword fighters

It's okay I can Samurais it for you.

LPT: For your safety, try not to mess with asexual people.

They don’t fuck around.

What do you call a Chihuahua that only knows how to say hello in japanese?

A konichiwahua

🎶 Where at least I know I’m free 🎶

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When you partied too hard last night, now you gotta clean up the litter the next morning

You know Mexican jokes and black jokes are all the same,

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

One for all the heroes in front-line support

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Some random astrology bullshit

Thought I’d leaf this pun here and treet you to a good day

What do you call a yeti tattoo on your stomach?

Abdominal snowman

A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.

That has left scientists scratching their heads.

What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?

A private tutor!!! Ha!

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." (You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.) "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." (Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirm uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.) "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." (All the men sighed with unified relief.) The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife — the word is sternum."

Thank you Corona

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The farmer and his wife needed a new bull…

There was a man who lived on a farm with his wife in the middle of nowhere. All they owned was a truck, a few cows, and an old bull. They didn't have much, but they were happy. One day, the farmer woke up and found that the bull had died. He went to his wife and said, "I take our money into the town and buy us a new bull. I know you need the truck here to keep the farm running, so when I get us a bull, I'll send you a telegraph so you know when to pick us up." His wife went and got the money and then said goodbye. The farmer arrived in town late that day and had to get a hotel room. The next morning he only had 401 dollars left. He went to the market and was able to buy a strong, young bull with the 400 dollars. It had been a long time since he had been to town, but as long as the telegraph prices hadn't gone up, he should be able to send a full sentence to his wife with his dollar. When he arrived at the post office, he said to the telegraph operator: "I need to send a message to my wife so she can pick up my bull and I. How much is a word?" "Prices went up a few years ago," replied the operator. "A word is 1 dollar." "Oh no," said the farmer "I can only send one word!" He thought for a little while and then said, "Ok, send my wife the word 'comfortable.'" "Comfortable? Are you sure?" asked the operator. "My wife has a 4th grade education," the farmer replied. "When she reads she has to sound each word out syllable by syllable. So when she sees the word comfortable, she'll read it as 'come-for-ta-bull.'"