When you try to clear the cache data 😂
It was a miner injury.
Her name was Mae T
But her cousin cardio… now she really takes my breath away (A friend told me this when we had school and Jesus did it make me chuckle)
A rip off
Must be some kind of milestone…
I just don’t know why.
He nuts and bolts.
Pontius Pilates and CrossFit
Pun in, ten dead.
When it becomes apparent.
I’m proud to say I’m officially clean!
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .." He sighed ….. "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box……."
A Russian cop wants to get a breathalyzer like the Western cops have to deal with drunk drivers. He asks his superior for one and his superior says "Sorry comrade. We have no money." The cop decides to go to a local black market where he buys a condom. He stops the first driver and says, "Official government breathalyzer test. Blow." The driver blows into a condom and the cop notices it smells like vodka. He says, "You drunk. Go to Police Station." He stops the second driver and says, "Official government breathalyzer test. Blow." The driver blows into a condom and the cop notices it smells like vodka. He says, "You drunk. Go to Police Station." He stops the third driver and says, "Official government breathalyzer test. Blow." The driver says, "You crazy? That is a condom!" The cop says, "You not drunk. You free to go."
until it’s fully groan.
A hockey player showers after three periods.
I hope they're happy
Jesus asks for a table for 26. The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.” Jesus says, “Yeah, but we’re all going to sit on the same side.”
Remains to be seen.
Because Italics aren't bold
It’s my wife’s birthday in a couple of days and when I asked her what she wanted she said she’d be happy with anything with lots of diamonds in it…
She’s going to love this pack of playing cards I’ve bought her…
My climbing partner didn’t appreciate it Edit: platinum 2 mins after posting. Thank you! Edit 2: It’s raining platinum, hallelujah! Thank you everyone!
they'd eventually find me attractive.
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby…
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you. Woman: Oh, no. Not my brother, he is an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise Woman: Not exactly my choice, but that isn't so bad. What did he name the boy? Doctor: Denephew.