but you guys didn't like it
“How long do you have to do that for?” I asked. “When is he too old for it?” “Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age.” “Yeah, shut up Joe – I was talking to your mother.”
You see one, you've seen a mall.
That should make the cremation a little more interesting…
It's really hard to quit cold turkey
The hobbit laughs and walks under it.
Did you know SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus? Did you know “tuba” is also an acronym?
Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
I said, "People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face before.
It will be called "Do You Have The Skillet Takes"
It tasted like ass.
He learned fish swim in schools
Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
I will be in my Lab if you need me.
My son asked me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, “That’s Superman!”
He replied, “Thanks dad! I’ve been practicing a lot!"
The bartender asks "How the hell did you do that ?"
Comes great response ability.
To fulfill my fantasy that we have healthcare
My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
I guess I got the wouldn't glue instead.
"The bad news is it's brain cancer."
No text found
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B
And only a handful of cases of herpes were Clinton's fault.
Seriously! Who starts a conversation like that?
I know he meant well
The second man dies. That's why you shouldn't repost.
Beefy my 15 year old daughter trying to emulate my sense of humor.
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."
I popped over the cube, oreo in hand "I'm working on my beach ball bod"