Where are you moving to
Because umbrellas can't walk.
me: No, I kinda just lie there. wife: THIS- [takes off doctor costume] this is why we never role play anymore!
I think it's just a bloody ovaryaction.
It was the least I could do for the guy.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don't like the taste of monkey.
He wanted a well-balanced meal.
They are for-prophet organizations, after all.
I was an iWitness.
I never strike in the same place twice.
She knew how to carry The One
The man handed the baby back to the doctor. "Then bring me the one my wife did make."
It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe
A man and his date were parked on a back road at night, far away from prying eyes when his date stopped him from going any further.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."
All I did was take a day off.
Because the root of their negativity is imaginary.
It’s a dart board on a ceiling. (original: r/jokes)
What a weird thing to lye about
Money for nothing, and the chicks for free
the carpenter who was nailed to some wood
My wife said she was leaving me because, “I can’t do anything right when it comes to housework!” Selfish woman!!
It took me hours to mop that carpet!!
You will get them VERY ANGRY
Me: I have no idea what he's for.
It produces a greenish flame and it looks really cool while I'm lighting up my cigarette.