WHO really let them out!
Geology rocks …
but geography is where it’s at!!
Dad: *washing car with son*
Son: Dad, can't you just use a sponge ?
I can make the boss give me the day off.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
I take a ruler to bed with me every night….
…so in the morning I can find out how long I slept.
Four Men Went Golfing Together
Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home – for free." The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs." The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock broker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio." The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."
After 20 years of working on it, I finally finished my physics book.
It was about time.
A house goes to the doctor complaining about its windows.
When the doctor asks what the problem is, the house replies, "I have panes all over."
Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All the fans left
When asked what his favorite holiday was. Arnold Schwarzenegger replied.
"I Still Love Easter BABY!"
Telltale games is closing down.
'No matter what choices were made the outcome was going to be the same' said a spokesman
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long pole. He hates it.
It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.
What do you call hiking US college students?
The walking debt.
What’s the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?
There‘s one less drunk.
Up next: How to sound good in a band. Stay Tuned!!
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Coronavirus ruining your plans for 2020? Save them for 2022!
Cause 2022 is 2020 too.
My wife said to me “you didn’t hear a word I said did you?”
I thought to myself. That's a funny way to start a conversation.
The American military should really be worried…
Russian technology is a decade ahead of them at the moment.
The guy who invented auto-correct passed away today.
Restaurant in peace
Let me tell you how I became a millionaire:
First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings. Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars. With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2 dollars each. Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each. Now I had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on… A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
![[Legit] found this gem on the bookface](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/i8kmpqdiv9o11-400x442.jpg)
Ever hear the one about the 3 holes in the ground?
Well Well Well
What’s red and smells?
Rudolph's nose.
A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.
The guy sitting next to him says, “Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together since we got married in 1967.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” says the first man. “Couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?” “Nope,” replies the second guy. “Everyone’s at the funeral.”
I was talking with fiance out getting married and he said he wasn’t excited about being called husbands.
But he though that wife had a nice ring to it.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale
I took the shell off of my pet snail to see if it would move faster
But it just ended up being more sluggish.
A drummer and her husband just had triplets. Their names?
Anna I. Anna II. Anna I, II, III.
Need an Ark?
I Noah guy.
