Who thought this was a good format
My wife said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop eating Pasta
Now I'm feeling cannelloni
devs on windows…
Introspection is always hurtful
"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline here …What's the problem,cobber?" "I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up." "Bummer, mate..!" "Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."
A guide on how to fall down the stairs:
Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 6, Step 12
all countries will get the corona virus eventually…
China just got it right off the bat
Grandma too sweet
Stepfather put this in the family chat.
This is your brain on red scare.
What do you call a dad joke when it gets old?
A grandpa joke
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
I had a pet newt once, I called him Tiny
Because he was my newt
My sex life is like the Sahara desert.
Just two palms, no dates.
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
A farmer quickly purchased land in a low-lying depression and began raising donkeys there. He did so with skill and the donkeys rarely got away.
Long story short, he hauled ass to amass asses in a hole asset, whole-ass not half-ass, lassoed the asses so that they wouldn't bypass the ass hole.
Such is life in JS world
Encountered this in the Facebook wilderness
Advice for a broken arm
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
I don’t know about you..
I’m voting for an old, senile, racist, sexist, white man with rape allegations this year for president.
But I’m still not sure which one to pick.
Can’t believe someone broke into my shed and stole my limbo stick
How low can ya go
My friend told me I have no idea what irony is
Which is ironic, because we were both waiting for the bus.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker?
He got a Nobel prize.
Clinical rotations is a special time
The apology machine
At least May will be better…
Does this count?…
What do you call a group of mountains?
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?
They checked the reviews……………. only one star.
Iron Man is technically a FEmale.
I will down vote myself on the way out….
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a risk I was willing to take.
father the treadmill ipad is not working
well thats just swell
Cell Phone bad
What do you call a fat psychic
Three Russian men are sitting together in a train headed to the Gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?" The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat." The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers." Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?" "Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West.
Dad…I have an imaginary girlfriend
His dad says,” you know..you could do better, right?” “Thanks dad. That means a lot.” “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your girlfriend.”
Wife bad comic no.4785
I once bought shoes from a drug dealer…
I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day
I’ve never met this man in my life
Flip the switch
A man named Ranger
A man named Ranger was going out to a bar to have a few drinks. His roommates told him not to drive if he got too drunk. Ranger asked his roommates how he was supposed to get home. “Walk or text us Ranger.”
A few weeks ago it was a “Democrat Hoax”
An old boomer comic I found in my history textbook
Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships?
So they can Scandinavian
Quid Pro Quo
I never really got an answer, just more suggestions
It works don’t touch it
How are Romeo and Juliet like the current pandemic?
One's a Corona Virus the other is a Verona Crisis.
I don’t really know why I came up with this meme, but it kinda makes sense
Not This Time.
What’s Irish and stays out all summer?
Just got done with a company wide upgrade to Windows 10 and let me tell ya. Windows isn’t even compatible with Windows.
Idk what to put for title
What do you call bears with no teeth?
My dad sent this…thing…to me unironically
F in the chat.
Officer: Where did the hacker escape to?
Me: I don't know, he just ransomware.