Who would win?
He liked to feel the draft coming in.
He replied “Okay, suture self”
There would be mass confusion.
No text found
"Then what about pianos?" -my half drunk dad
But I can't see myself wearing it
Me: Thanks for reminding me.
It's really hard to be leaf.
It marked the first time he's passed in years.
“Mom” He asked “ Are these my brains” “Not yet” She replied
Because all the fans left.
A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain. Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?" She replied "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning." He knew he was not going to get lucky that night. The following night was the same, she stood there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom. She looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?" He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
I’m beginning to suspect they got someone else
…does that mean they're on standbi?
..that the doctors really screwed up my mouth surgery.
She keeps denying it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Turns out, my parents weren't even related.
Unless you multiply yourself by the spped of light squared then you Energy
Never mind, you won’t get it.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
It’s currently half empty.
She’s a mathamachicken…
He was always to scared to tell her, fearing it would ruin their work relationship. One day, he was using his X-ray vision to watch her in her apartment. He saw her put on music and start taking her clothes off. She sat down on her bed. She was getting in the romantic mood. She was squirming around, appearing as if she was having a sexual dream. Superman thought “She’s probably dreaming about me.” He said, “You know what, I’m faster than a speeding bullet, I could fly in, fuck her and fly out, and she wouldn’t know what happened!” So he did exactly that. He flew in quickly, did her and flew away. Wonder Woman says “What the hell was that?” And then the Invisible Man says “I don’t know, but my asshole is killing me!”
Neil and Bill look at Stephen Hawking and yell, "My God, Stephen, you're cured!"
He didn’t habanero.
Because he couldn't see that well
Feeling cannelloni right now.