Why did no one in the King’s court laugh when the king farted?
Because noble gases don't cause a reaction.
If you want a trial version of a kid why don't you borrow your friend's and babysit it instead of letting your own expire?
Security stops him and says there are no firearms allowed in this building.
He really loved that woman.
A – meano -acid
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
We named him Carson.
A guy in the back shouts "you don't have enough bullets"
it's a naan stick pan
Was just at Walmart and saw a man who’s cart was full of sanitizers soaps wipes and toilet paper. I called him a selfish bastard and gave him a low down on the elderly, moms, and people who really need those things. I told him he should be ashamed of himself. He said “Are you done? Cuz I really need to get back to stocking the shelves…”
A chicken pie in jamaica costs £2.00 A chicken pie in trinidad costs £2.15 A chicken pie in st kitts costs. £2.30
These are the pie-rates of the carribean
One says to the other "I can't believe I just blew 20 bucks!"
The no-shit Sherlock!
Whether they like it or not
When I called customer service about it they said, “ oh that’s just a freebie.”
I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don’t know either.
I'm on season six, don't know what it has to do with security though.
On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore." I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe. As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."
I waited as long as I could but nobody came, so I just washed them myself.
… unless they're flashing behind you.
free of charge.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-Smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial"
No text found
Because he was feeling crumby.
Kenya believe it? I'm Ghana miss her.
Not as heroic as it sounds, though, he just did it last week.
The bartender says "how did you do that?"
I hope you're happy now
He is fine. He woke up