Why do people with small dicks have a bad memory
I forgot
Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks
After three weeks the Syrians meet again at McDonald's the first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practise and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it's Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!" The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country you fucking towelhead"
There was two windmills in a field
One asked the other “What type of music do you like?” The other replied “Well I’m a big metal fan”
My grandpa’s last words before he died was “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”
That spoke volumes.
What the world looks like before the brain vertically inverts the retinal image
https://ift.tt/3e2R080
In Alabama, we don’t do the Reverse Cowgirl
We never turn our back on Family
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday…the rest are weekdays.
I saw a woman crying in the supermarket
So I stopped and asked what had happened. Through the sobs, said said that she was due to go on holiday, but all the money she had been saving for months was gone. Feeling sorry for her, I decided to give her £50 to try and help a bit. It's not something I'd normally do, but I just found £2,000 in the car park
What starts with a “W” and ends with “hat”…
No text found
Despite Brexit, English is set to become the EU official language…
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, given its majority status in the EU, despite the UK leaving. As part of the final Brexit negotiations, Germany proposed a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". Germany argued that this may make the EU more inviting to the UK in the future. In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
I am on day 9 of quarantine and was wondering if anyone had any porn sites they’d like to recommend other than:
Xvideos PornHub Xtube Ass parade Brazzers xHamster XNXX YouPorn YouJizz TastyBlacks HClips TnaFlix Tube8 Spankbang DrTuber Spankwire KeezMovies Nuvid SunPorno BravoTube PornHD Eporner SexVid XXXBunker TheNewPorn Mofosex… PornDreamer X18 Xbabe UpdateTube BeFuck Hdmovz PornRox PornMaki Pornid Inxporn TopFreePornVideos Slutload ProPorn FakePorn Pornhost HandjobHub Vpornvideos MyXVids Pornicom DansMovies Wetplace AdultFreex Wankflix 88fuck Fapdu Rude FreudBox AdultInc PornHeed HdPorn Orgasm PornRabbit MadThumbs Fux Eroxia DeviantClip Xxvids H2porn ApeTube MetaPorn YourLustMovies ElephantTube Long PornerBros Tubegalore 3movs Ass-Time HQButt BangBus BangBros Ghetto tube RedTube BrickHouseButts GhettoGaggers GloryHole Xvideos PornHub Xtube Ass parade Brazzers xHamster XNXX YouPorn YouJizz TastyBlacks HClips TnaFlix Tube8 Spankbang DrTuber Spankwire KeezMovies Nuvid SunPorno BravoTube PornHD Eporner SexVid XXXBunker TheNewPorn Mofosex… PornDreamer X18 Xbabe UpdateTube BeFuck Hdmovz PornRox PornMaki Pornid Inxporn TopFreePornVideos Slutload ProPorn FakePorn Pornhost HandjobHub Vpornvideos MyXVids Pornicom DansMovies Wetplace AdultFreex Wankflix 88fuck Fapdu Rude FreudBox AdultInc PornHeed HdPorn Orgasm PornRabbit MadThumbs Fux Eroxia DeviantClip Xxvids H2porn ApeTube MetaPorn YourLustMovies ElephantTube Long PornerBros Tubegalore 3movs Ass-Time HQButt BangBus BangBros Ghetto tube RedTube BrickHouseButts GhettoGaggers GloryHole Xvideos PornHub Xtube Ass parade Brazzers xHamster XNXX YouPorn YouJizz TastyBlacks HClips TnaFlix Tube8 Spankbang DrTuber Spankwire KeezMovies Nuvid SunPorno BravoTube PornHD Eporner SexVid XXXBunker TheNewPorn Mofosex… PornDreamer X18 Xbabe UpdateTube BeFuck Hdmovz PornRox PornMaki Pornid Inxporn TopFreePornVideos Slutload ProPorn FakePorn Pornhost HandjobHub Vpornvideos MyXVids Pornicom DansMovies Wetplace AdultFreex Wankflix 88fuck Fapdu Rude FreudBox AdultInc PornHeed HdPorn Orgasm PornRabbit MadThumbs Fux Eroxia DeviantClip Xxvids H2porn ApeTube MetaPorn YourLustMovies ElephantTube Long PornerBros Tubegalore 3movs Ass-Time HQButt BangBus BangBros Ghetto tube RedTube BrickHouseButts GhettoGaggers GloryHole General r/nsfw r/nsfw2 r/TipOfMyPenis r/bonermaterial r/porn r/nsfw411 r/iWantToFuckHer r/exxxtras r/distension r/bimbofetish r/christiangirls r/cuckold r/dirtygaming r/sexybutnotporn r/femalepov r/omgbeckylookathiscock /r/sexygirls r/breedingmaterial r/canthold r/toocuteforporn r/justhotwomen r/realsexyselfies r/stripgirls r/hotstuffnsfw r/uncommonposes r/gifsofremoval r/nostalgiafapping r/jizzedtothis r/verticalgifs r/pantyslide r/pornogram r/oilporn r/bisexy r/riskyporn MILF r/milf r/gonewild30plus r/preggoporn r/realmoms Teen r/legalteens r/collegesluts r/adorableporn r/legalteensXXX /r/gonewild18 r/18_19 r/just18 r/PornStarletHQ r/fauxbait Amateur r/realgirls r/amateur r/homemadexxx r/dirtypenpals r/FestivalSluts r/CollegeAmateurs r/amateurcumsluts r/nsfw_amateurs r/funwithfriends r/randomsexiness r/amateurporn r/normalnudes Cam r/Camwhores r/camsluts r/streamersgonewild Gonewild r/GoneWild r/PetiteGoneWild r/gonewildstories r/GoneWildTube r/treesgonewild r/gonewildaudio r/GWNerdy r/gonemild r/altgonewild r/gifsgonewild r/analgw r/gonewildsmiles r/onstageGW r/RepressedGoneWild r/bdsmgw r/UnderwearGW r/LabiaGW r/TributeMe r/WeddingsGoneWild r/gwpublic r/assholegonewild r/leggingsgonewild r/dykesgonewild r/goneerotic r/snapchatgw r/gonewildhairy r/gonewildtrans r/gonwild r/ratemynudebody r/gonewildhairy Age r/gonewild30plus r/gonewild18 r/onmww (formerly /r/ohnomomwentwild) Couples r/GWCouples r/gonewildcouples r/gwcumsluts r/WouldYouFuckMyWife Curves r/gonewildcurvy r/GoneWildplus r/BigBoobsGW r/bigboobsgonewild r/mycleavage Ethnicity r/AsiansGoneWild r/gonewildcolor r/indiansgonewild r/latinasgw r/pawgtastic Occupation r/workgonewild r/GoneWildScrubs r/swingersgw r/militarygonewild Snapchat r/NSFW_Snapchat r/snapchat_sluts r/snapleaks Wives r/wifesharing r/hotwife r/wouldyoufuckmywife r/slutwife r/cuckold Animated r/rule34 r/ecchi r/futanari r/doujinshi r/yiff r/monstergirl r/mechanicalsluts Comics r/rule34_comics r/sex_comics Video Games r/overwatch_porn r/pokeporn r/bowsette r/rule34lol r/rule34overwatch r/nintendowaifus r/34honor r/fivefapsatfreddys r/fortniters34 r/rainbowr34 r/fortniteporn r/breathofthegonewild r/animalcrossingr34 r/mortalcumbat r/apexlegends_porn r/templarssecret r/nsfwarframe r/tflewd r/thelostwoods Hentai r/hentai r/hentai_gif r/WesternHentai r/hentai_irl r/artistic_hentai r/hentaibeast r/hentaihumiliation r/traphentai r/guro r/ahegao r/ahegao_irl r/hypnohentai r/tentai r/handholding r/honeyfuckers r/itshiptofuckbees r/guro r/hentaibondage r/animeshorts r/kuroihada r/disgustedanimegirls r/2dtittytouching r/buttfangs r/yuri r/hentaibondage r/ZettaiRyouiki r/hentaifemdom r/animefeet r/thighhighhentai r/animebooty r/swimsuithentai r/animelegs r/animearmpits r/2dsuccubi r/animemidriff r/skindentation r/thighdeology r/chiisaihentai r/lovelivelewds r/bokunoeroacademia r/waifusgonewild r/sideoppai BDSM r/BDSM r/Bondage r/BDSMcommunity r/bdsmgw Blowjobs r/blowjobs r/deepthroat r/onherknees r/blowjobsandwich Ass r/ass r/asstastic r/facedownassup r/assinthong r/bigasses r/buttplug r/TheUnderbun r/booty r/pawg r/paag r/cutelittlebutts r/hipcleavage r/frogbutt r/HungryButts r/cottontails r/lovetowatchyouleave r/celebritybutts r/cosplaybutts r/mooning Anal r/anal r/analgw r/painal r/masterofanal r/buttsharpies Asshole r/asshole r/AssholeBehindThong r/assholegonewild r/spreadem r/candidasshole r/bendover r/ediblebuttholes r/faceandasshole Yoga pants r/girlsinyogapants r/yogapants Boobs/Nipples r/boobies r/TittyDrop r/boltedontits r/boobbounce r/boobs r/downblouse r/homegrowntits r/cleavage r/breastenvy r/youtubetitties r/torpedotits r/thehangingboobs r/page3glamour r/biggerthanyouthought Busty r/BustyPetite r/hugeboobs r/stacked r/burstingout r/BigBoobsGW r/bigboobsgonewild r/2busty2hide r/bigtiddygothgf r/engorgedveinybreasts Nipples r/pokies r/ghostnipples r/nipples r/puffies r/lactation Small r/tinytits r/aa_cups r/ilikelittlebutts Face r/braceface r/earspokingout Hair r/GirlswithNeonHair r/shorthairchicks r/blonde Legs/feet r/girlsinyogapants r/stockings r/legs r/tightshorts Feet r/buttsandbarefeet r/feet Thighs r/datgap r/thighhighs r/thickthighs r/thighdeology Pussy r/pussy r/rearpussy r/innie r/simps r/pelfie r/LabiaGW r/godpussy r/presenting r/cameltoe r/hairypussy r/lipsthatgrip r/pussytomouth r/fucklicking Mound r/moundofvenus r/pussymound Skin r/Hotchickswithtattoos r/sexyfrex r/tanlines r/oilporn r/ComplexionExcellence Waist/Tummy r/SexyTummies r/theratio Body Type r/fitgirls r/bodyperfection r/samespecies r/athleticgirls r/fitgirlsfucking Curvy/Thick/THICC r/gonewildcurvy r/curvy r/gonewildplus r/thick r/juicyasians r/voluptuous r/biggerthanyouthought r/jigglefuck r/chubby r/SlimThick r/massivetitsnass r/thicker r/thickthighs r/tightsqueeze r/casualjiggles r/bbw Petite r/BustyPetite r/dirtysmall r/petitegonewild /r/xsmallgirls r/funsized r/hugedicktinychick Celebrity/Athlete r/Athlete r/volleyballgirls r/Ohlympics Celebrity r/celebnsfw r/WatchItForThePlot r/nsfwcelebarchive /r/celebritypussy r/oldschoolcoolNSFW r/extramile r/jerkofftocelebs r/celebritybutts r/onoffcelebs Cum r/cumsluts r/GirlsFinishingTheJob r/cumfetish r/amateurcumsluts r/cumcoveredfucking r/cumhaters r/thickloads r/before_after_cumsluts r/pulsatingcumshots r/impressedbycum r/cummy Cum Location r/creampies r/throatpies r/FacialFun r/cumonclothes r/oralcreampie Emotion r/HappyEmbarrassedGirls r/unashamed r/borednignored r/annoyedtobenude Ethnicity r/damngoodinterracial Asian r/AsianHotties r/AsiansGoneWild r/realasians r/juicyasians r/AsianNSFW r/nextdoorasians r/asianporn r/bustyasians r/paag Indian r/IndianBabes r/indiansgonewild r/jerkofftodesicelebs Japanese r/NSFW_Japan r/javdownloadcenter Korean r/kpopfap r/NSFW_Korea Ebony r/WomenOfColor r/darkangels r/blackchickswhitedicks r/ebony r/Afrodisiac Ginger r/ginger r/redheads Latina r/latinas r/latinasgw r/latinacuties White r/palegirls r/pawg r/snowwhites Gifs r/NSFW_GIF r/nsfw_gifs r/porn_gifs r/porninfifteenseconds r/CuteModeSlutMode r/60fpsporn r/NSFW_HTML5 r/the_best_nsfw_gifs Groups r/twingirls r/groupofnudegirls r/Ifyouhadtopickone Hardcore r/nsfwhardcore r/SheLikesItRough r/strugglefucking r/jigglefuck r/freeuse r/whenitgoesin r/outercourse r/gangbang r/breeding r/pegging r/insertions r/passionx Large Penis r/hugedicktinychick r/amateurgirlsbigcocks Positions r/facesitting r/nsfw_plowcam r/pronebone r/facefuck High Quality r/60fpsporn r/highresNSFW r/NSFW_HTML5 Incest r/incestporn r/wincest r/lovingfamily r/gaywincest Individuals r/sarah_xxx r/remylacroix r/Anjelica_Ebbi r/BlancNoir r/rileyreid r/dollywinks r/tessafowler r/lilyivy r/funsizedasian r/mycherrycrush r/gillianbarnes r/kawaiikitten r/emilybloom r/legendarylootz r/sexyflowerwater r/miamalkova r/sashagrey r/keriberry_420 r/justpeachyy r/angelawhite r/miakhalifa r/alexapearl r/missalice_18 r/lanarhoades r/evalovia r/GiannaMichaels r/arianamarie Lesbian r/lesbians r/StraightGirlsPlaying r/girlskissing r/mmgirls r/dykesgonewild r/facesittinglesbians Masturbation/Orgasm r/holdthemoan r/O_faces r/jilling r/gettingherselfoff r/quiver r/GirlsHumpingThings r/forcedorgasms r/mmgirls r/ruinedorgasms r/holdingit Dildos r/suctiondildos r/baddragon Wet women r/grool r/squirting Men r/ladybonersgw r/massivecock r/chickflixxx r/gaybrosgonewild r/sissies r/dattaint r/selffuck r/sounding Furry NSFW r/furryporn r/furryporndump r/yiff r/ZootopiaPorn r/yiffgif r/FurryPornSubreddit r/gfur r/femyiff r/silentyiff r/gayfurryporn r/yiffcomics r/Sharktits r/ArousingAvians r/anthroids r/anthropokeporn r/DragonPenis r/DragonsFuckingDragons r/FeralPokePorn r/FurryFrot r/GayPokePorn r/HorsecocksMasterRace r/PokePornGay r/scalieporn r/WholesomeYiff Outfits r/OnOff r/nsfwoutfits r/girlswithglasses r/collared r/seethru r/sweatermeat r/cfnm r/nsfwfashion r/leotards Bikinis r/bikinis r/bikinibridge Costumes r/nsfwcosplay r/nsfwcostumes r/girlsinschooluniforms Dresses r/WtSSTaDaMiT r/tightdresses r/upskirt Stockings/Socks r/stockings r/thighhighs r/leggingsgonewild Pants/Shorts r/Bottomless_Vixens r/tightshorts Yoga pants r/girlsinyogapants r/yogapants Underwear r/lingerie r/garterbelts Thongs r/assinthong r/AssholeBehindThong Professional/Sites r/suicidegirls Public r/ChangingRooms r/workgonewild r/trashyboners r/FlashingGirls r/publicflashing r/sexinfrontofothers r/NotSafeForNature r/gwpublic r/realpublicnudity r/socialmediasluts r/flashingandflaunting Trans r/Tgirls r/traps r/futanari r/gonewildtrans r/tgifs Gay: r/gaysex r/topsandbottoms r/lgbtsex r/gaykink r/gayBDSMcommunity r/gaygonewild r/gaybrosgonewild r/gaymersgonewild r/gayselfies r/gaybears r/LGBTgonewild r/bigonewild r/gayNSFW r/gayerotica Bondage r/forcedorgasms r/damselsindistress r/cuffed r/gagged r/abuseporn r/femaleorgasmdenial r/girlscontrolled Video r/pornvids r/nsfw_videos Meet People r/dirtysnapchat Other NSFW r/randomactsofblowjob r/NSFWFunny r/pornhubcomments r/confusedboners r/dirtykikpals r/nsfw_wtf r/randomactsofmuffdive r/stupidslutsclub r/sluttyconfessions r/sextrophies Armpits cause people like that r/armpits r/celebrityarmpits r/armpitfetish I don’t even know where the fuck this would go section r/dragonsfuckingcars r/SCPORN r/fedlegs r/cummingonfigurines r/dragonbutts r/dragonpussy r/dragonpenis These have gotten boring 😔 Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.
According to my wife, I’m a terrible dad for not treating my kids equally.
I just don't understand it. I love James, Nicole and the fat, ugly one all the same.
I asked 100 women what their favorite soap in the shower was.
The most popular response was: "How the fuck did you get in here?"
I sleep better naked.
Why can't this flight attendant understand that?
What did Santa say when he caught an elf stealing toys?
don't be elfish!
What is this, some kind of Boomer joke that I’m too Millennial to understand?
https://ift.tt/2H77fSO
A couple ask their doctor to watch them have sex.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" "We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50…and I get $43 back from Medicare
Grandpa: What has 4 legs but is not alive?
A boy: A chair, hahaha, nice try gran- Grandpa: It's your dog, he is dead Jimmy
Seriously, why must most these things always suck? Especially Netflix and Max
Seriously, why must most these things always suck? Especially Netflix and Max
I went to buy camouflage trousers the other day
But I couldn’t see myself wearing any
So the doctor apologized to me for making me wait
I told him im patient
If Robocop was a transformer,
Would his name be stoptimus Crime?
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the gates of heaven.
"In honor of this holy season," he said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "This represents a candle," he said. "Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates," said Saint Peter. The second man reached into his pockets and pulled out a set of keys. They jingled as he shook them and he said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may also enter heaven." The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. Saint Peter looked at the man, puzzled. "And just what do those symbolize?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. The man replied, "These are Carol's."
My son said he was going to read a book by the fire.
I said, "That's a weird name for an author."
My boyfriend and I always laugh about how competitive we are
But I laugh harder
Why is there 2 d’s in ‘Reddit’?
Because one is a repost.
Would you calculate how many people you could afford to lose for unlimited breadsticks?
https://ift.tt/2Z5Ucvb
Why is every gender equality officer female?
Because it is cheaper.
My wife’s favorite song is “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers and she reminds of this every single time it’s on the radio…
I reply, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know…"
What do you call a sleeping Triceratops?
A snoozosaurus.
Breast Feeding
A man is sitting next to a woman who is trying to breast feed her baby on the bus. The baby refuses to eat and the mother warns, "If you don't eat I'll give it to the man next to me." The baby refuses. After 20 mins the mother repeats the threat. The man clears his throat and says, "Hey woman, you better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off the bus 6 stops ago!"
Finland has just closed their borders
No one will be crossing the finish line