Why do pirates love this subreddit?
It be the best place to exchange stolen content for gold.
Justice is best served cold
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Tried drawing my girl who passed away, will not try drawing again. Sure do miss her though
https://ift.tt/2BWHv9f
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She’s chatting with St. Peter at the pearly gates when all of a sudden she hears the most bloodcurdling screams.
"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings." The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more loud and dreadful screams "Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what is happening?" "Not to worry," says St. Peter, "She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo." "I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm going to hell." "You can't go there," says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and sodomized." "Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that. Edit : I got a gold for a joke that I repost every month. Thanks person, hope you had a chuckle.
On Endor, how does a gentleman end a fight?
Ewocs away
I wrote an apology in morse code
I call it the remorse code
What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons?
José and Hose B
I found an alien masturbating in my freezer last night. I asked him what on earth he was doing in there.
He said, “I cum in peas.”
Who wants to learn about Roman numerals? I for one.
No text found
What do you call a French man wearing sandals?
Phillippe Phillop.
I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares
It's nice to have some company
My girlfriend used to be a hoe but she got fat
Now she's a shovel
Why did the scarecrow get an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.
Damn near poked my eye out.
I couldn’t believe I got to use this
Wife-Can you be serious for a minute? Me-*grins* Ok and you be Shirley Wife-I'm serious! Me-Shirley you can't be Serious, I'm Serious This actually happened. 🙂
If you’re here for the yodeling lesson
please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
A JFK conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven
When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. "Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully." Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, "Who really shot Kennedy?" God replies, "Lee Harvey Oswald shot him from sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository. There were no accomplices. He acted alone" The conspiracy theorist pauses, thinks to himself, then says "Shit! This goes higher up than I thought…"
At the end of a soccer game in Japan, the players are starting performing martial arts…
Its what they call Ninjary time.

Funny because it’s ironic and Sad because corona time will never be the same again. 😭
https://ift.tt/3bhTAoM
I was addicted to soap once.
Now I’m clean
Donating a kidney makes you somebody’s hero.
Donating 5 makes you a suspect
What do you call the sweat created from sex in Alabama?
Relative humidity.
I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked.
I'm not sure what scared him more. My naked body or the fact I knew where he lived
How do flat earthers travel the world?
on a plane.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat
How fast does light travel?
a. 10,000 km/s b. 100,000 km/s c. d. 1,000,000 km/s
Why couldn’t the sailor play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck!
When is 40 bigger than 50?
XL is bigger than L
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?
They took him into custardy
I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life…
Must be the same ring I put on when I got married…
My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon, but was not given the gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
I feel sorry for the children of same-sex couples
You either have to put up with twice the number of Dad jokes, or you're stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother".
Why do the Hong Kong police wake up so early in the morning?
To beat the crowd.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.