Why do we even have it?
They did unspeakable things to me.
Through the engineers.
Because the last time they had a fat man 80,000 people died
Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.
A Four-chin teller.
Mostly so I can get a better girlfriend.
We were watching a documentary on African wildlife, and my son asked me, “Is it difficult to spot cheetahs?”
Me: No, I think they come that way.
Even the cake was in tiers.
Oh well, new year, new me!
Just today I had to explain to someone that there is a vas deferens between a testicle and a penis.
He came closer and asked what problem is. Old man: I’m looking for my son, but I’m gonna lose my hope. Jesus pitied the man and said, “let’s look for your son together.” After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily. Yes, said the old man. “He had nails driven on his hands and feet.” Jesus started and hugged the man, saying “FATHER!” The old man screamed happily, “PINOCCHIO!”
Went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound
I hate working at the McDonald's factory…
I said maybe.
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
If you don't get it, it's because it's an inside joke.
Son: Dad, we got a strange new girl in class today with a really weird name… Dad: Now son, you shouldn’t think less of a person because of that person’s name. Son: I understand. Dad: Just curious, what is her name? Son: Nonstick Cookingspray Dad: ……what the hell kind of name is that? Son: That’s what I said! I tried calling her Pam but… Dad: …but what..,? Son: It just didn’t stick.
Grasshopper, have you seen the peace of the sunrise through the morning mists? –Yes, Master Po, I have seen this. Grasshopper, have you seen the patience of the crane as it stands still in the pond until a fish swims by? –Yes, Master Po, I have seen this. Grasshopper, have you seen the rushing water tumbling over the stones, and how the stones rest undisturbed despite the water? –Yes, Master Po, I have seen this. Grasshopper, have you seen the majesty of the full moon in the deep silence of the night? –Yes, Master Po, I have seen this. …Grasshopper? –Yes, Master Po. You should spend more time training and less time watching stupid shit!
But I’m 22 to say it 🙁
I found it a little hard to swallow.
Why does it have to be a group activity
When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
It’s pretty lit.
Their words, not mine.