Why does Greta Thunberg like r/jokes so much?
We recycle our material every fucking day.
I’ll beheading there soon.
He had a reptile dysfunction.
A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok…
Cousin: I really want a dog this year. Wife: What kind do you want? Cousin: I’m really wanting a poodle. My Dad: Just wait until it rains. There will be plenty of “poudles” around. Everyone else : 🙄
but I drew Barry more
Me: Why? Doctor: Because it's distracting.
My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.
It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
I : handjob definitely . She(surprised) : why is that? I : because one in the hand is worth two in the bush
But oral sex? That's just a matter of taste.
It’s hit or miss
IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes. Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years…
…but they're having a really hard time putting their case together…
That way you can make sure it’s not some weirdo who is on Reddit.
An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train. The train driver sees 3 fucking idiots standing on the train tracks.
Everyone was dribbling on it.
It's easy, if you make B leave.
It gives me the E B G Bs
like there's no tomorrow.
It's full of cymballism.
A boss said to his secretary "I want to have sex with you. I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor; by the time you pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for a moment, then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said "Ask him for $2000, and pick up the money very fast; he won't even have enough time to undress himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend decides to call his girlfriend. He asks, "What happened?" She responds, "I'm still picking and he's still fucking! The bastard used COINS!"
No nut November
His trial is expected to last forever
It’s currently half empty.
GF: Really? Me: Yes. George Foreman: How so?