Why does the Swedish Navy have bar codes on their ship?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
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For spilling the beans.
Mostly so I can get a better girlfriend.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said. "Fuck off" he shouted back. "What an ungrateful little cunt" I thought as I zipped my backpack and continued my walk.
As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
I know multiple tricks, and I’m not a pony
Thailand.( Credit to my brothers who dosent use reddit).
I’m not joking, but he is.
Patient: "But doctor, I am not Steven. My name is Mike." Doctor: "I know, I am Steven."
But when i got out of prison, it was totally worth it
This just happened at the dinner table. My Dad was talking about how he got up very early for work. The conversation went like this: Dad: “Man, I woke up way too early this morning and it completely threw me out of sync.” Me: “Well, why were you sleeping in the sink?” My Mom rolled her eyes. I am Dad now.
Because to construct them, you need to install windows
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
Because he is an absolute unit.
We're telling them tomorrow.
The rabbit says : I think I might be a type O.
Me: stop hitting yourself haha, why do you keep hitting yourself Sister-in-law: crying is this why you wanted an open casket
There was no coffin at the funeral.
because I am not included in anything 🙁
The steaks will be higher than ever
He must have realised that marriage counted as a union
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?” The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
Age 16-32 : Tri-weekly Ages 32-55: Try-weekly Over 55: Try-weakly
He wrote poultry for her.
Good condition, only driven from time to time
Well, first you need a nice ice fishing spot and some peas. Once you have those, you cut a hole in the ice, then make a trail of peas leading away from it. So, when the polar bear goes to take pea, you kick it in the ice hole!
Two thousand and eighteen.