Why is Cinderella bad at soccer
She always runs from the ball
A father has three daughters of dating age
One Saturday night, he hears a knock on the door. He answers to see a young man, who says, "Hi I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're going out for spaghetti. Is she ready?" The father nods and calls her down. After a while he hears another knock on the door. The young man says, "Hi I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show. Is she ready to go?" The father nods and calls his daughter. After a while he hears another knock on the door. The young man says, "Hi I'm Chuck…" The father punches him in the face.
I’m addicted to ordering hatchets from other countries because of the smell.
I love foreign axe scents.
![[interesting and funny title]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/t7xbgavkffp41-400x515.jpg)
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back
There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen". This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week."
Why don’t people joke about the Jonestown massacre?
The punchline is too long.
My wife thinks I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I told her, “Just you wait.”
[OC] A man was riding on a bus.
The police pulled the bus over and ordered him to get down.
I often wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder”…
Came up with any other phrases. Edit: Thank you for the silver
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.
I want to hear 99 people sing ‘Africa’ by Toto.
It’s something that a hundred men or more could never do.
So I just got my wife with this one… She asked to go to Victoria’s Secret to buy some new underwear… She complained that her favorite pairs had holes in them…
I said "of course they have holes in them, how else are you supposed to get your legs through?" I could feel the eye roll from across the room
I don’t want to sound racist, but…
Every one in the KKK looks the same to me.
So Boris Johnson has tested positive for COVID-19…
Anyone else concerned with how quickly the virus has jumped from human to politician?
I have a friend named Bob
He hates it when I say his name backwards
My wife just called me and said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!”
I replied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
I once wanted to do biochem research… Turns out I didn’t pass the vibe check.
https://ift.tt/38nW58h
I was attending a noisy legal hearing, and the Judge started yelling, “Order! Order in the courtroom!”
So I said, “A pastrami on rye, please.”
Why is the Australian emergency line is“000”?
Because it’ll look the same when your phone is upside down.
I cannot believe there’s no cure for obesity yet.
I thought it would be a walk in the park.
The shovel was really a ground-breaking invention.
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Why did the semen cross the road?
I put the wrong socks on this morning
What do you call a lazy Kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Did you hear about the dad who swapped genders and now no one can find him?
He became trans-parent.
I’d make a Sodium joke but……Na
No text found
Why didn’t 4 jump into the pool?
Because they were 22
So I decided to build a Restaurant on the moon
The food is great and all but there's no atmosphere.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
Add spring water.
![Me in CS-101 writing my first insertion sort algorithm, 2014 [Colorized]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/no_image_card-4-400x247.png)
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous…
… I see a lot of new faces tonight, which is disappointing.
Great wine is like great jazz…
It confuses me and I’m pretty sure it’s all the same.
Petition to get SpaceX to send a Flat Earther into Space
http://chng.it/BDBrQHFJrk
My penis may not be 12 inches
….but it smells like a foot.
I’m opening a dispensary that sells weed and doughnuts.
It called glazed and confused.