Why is this SO FUNNY 🤣
It was a risk I was willing to take.
She was seeing someone else.
Because you can’t C in the dark.
It was an iDivorce
so I tried it. It doesn't.
Number 1. Number 2.
I’d have to legally change my name.
I am thinking no way is a month long enough for her to make up her mind where to eat.
In a dad-a-base
If it sinks it's a girl ant If it floats it's boy ant
It’s fucking Frozen
Quarter pounder with cheese
They each got six months.
Men just go for higher paying jobs like doctor, CEO, lawyer ect. Where as women pick lower paying jobs like female doctor, female lawyer, and female CEO
I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.
I don’t know. I don’t speak French.
Me: Leave that to me later at dinner Her dad: coughs I need water Me: Oh no! Grandpa needs water!
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says “We’ve got a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says:
"you've got a drink named Eugene?"
He was afraid of capitalism.
A roamin' Catholic.
He came closer and asked what problem is. Old man: I’m looking for my son, but I’m gonna lose my hope. Jesus pitied the man and said, “let’s look for your son together.” After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily. Yes, said the old man. “He had nails driven on his hands and feet.” Jesus started and hugged the man, saying “FATHER!” The old man screamed happily, “PINOCCHIO!”
I have a father figure.
Fine wine doesn’t try and escape from my cellar.
I'm not hurt, but my pottery is ruined
The second time let me down.
I opened the fridge's door, the light came on, the juice was cold. What the hell did she mean?