Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Dragon 2: Dear, you know I hate canned food!
Then they call me ugly and poor.
He said “for my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos -” but then he vanished without a tres.
Its not a long poem but its very deep
Thanks to him I did 89 push ups in 10 seconds.
Turns out she was talking about zodiacs. Anyway I've got three months to live.
it was dead
So after a while I decided to give it another try, and it wasn’t half bad. I guess I got off on the wrong foot
Put an apple logo on your product.
A young woman goes to her doctor about two small rashes on her thighs. The doctor tests her for allergies, and then asks “Ma’am, are you a lesbian?” The woman stares for a second, then says “Yes, I am. Why?” “There’s the problem.” the doctor said “Tell your girlfriend to stop wearing cheap earrings.”
Does this now make him Postpone Malone?
Smiles. Because there’s a mile between the two S’s.
I enjoy a little Lyme with my Corona
But later on they grew on me
Because they are neigh-sayers
Me: oh, that was when I went to Yale Interviewer: Amazing, you are hired! Me: hurray! I got a Yob!
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Does that make him a jolly rancher?
Because it is capsized.
"Honey, what did you think of me when you first saw me?". "My first thought was that I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry", he replied. "And what do you think of me now darling?", the old woman asked. "I think I've done a pretty good job"
He came, he saw, he conquered.
My dad died last year when my family couldn’t remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him
As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
I can’t believe I missed all the red flags
We really have gone bat, shit, crazy.
Because you can't see in the dark
…But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."
I said no thanks, I can't handle high maintenance women
But most only have 4 🙂
One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”
Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”
A carrot 🥕