Why was the gambler on edge when working at a BBQ restaurant?
Whenever a waiter picked up a meat platter, they raised the steaks.
I’m 22 to say it.
At any moment, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away…
When it's apparent
…I ran out of there like a bull in a japan shop.
He suffered from hamnesia.
but it's literally 50%
You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"
"Yes, we arson."
I wish I could post this in another subreddit.
I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French…
It's a step by step guide.
I have contacts.
"Hi, is my table ready?" "No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?" "No, that's okay." "Great, take these salads to table six then."
But I never met herbivore
Christmas is coming
I’m a cashew
A boy asks his mom: "Hey, mom, what is dark humor?" "See that disabled man over there?" She says "But mom, I'm blind" "Exactly, honey"
But apparently, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
Sorry, wrong sub
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
Because all the other vowels are in audible.
…details are sketchy.
He refused to eat or drink anything. He swore at everyone and covered his room with his own shit. After that, we never played Monopoly again.
Kid: Why are you doing that? Dad: So you won't get bored there
Waitress: [slaps me a good one across the face] …“The men I please are none of your damn business!”
free of charge.
No text found
It's not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.
I was putting the outlet cover back on the wall while my wife was working at the computer with her back to me…
She said “what are you doing? What is that noise?” I said “I’ve been screwing around behind your back.” She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover. I found it way more entertaining then she did.