He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake. "Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said. So the father visited a ton of different bakeries and did research, but found the prices to be too high. My daughter is inviting all of her friends, and I'll look bad if I don't put together a good cake, he thought. Then, he stumbled upon a shop that opened once a year to provide free cake to its customers. How quaint, the father thought, but desperate, he walked inside to see if they could provide a cake for his daughter's birthday. He was met by a Buddhist monk chanting and lighting incense. "Hello," the father asked, "I would like to buy a cake." "Of course," the monk replied, "just draw a picture of the cake you would like on the notepad on the desk." The father thought this to be weird, but wanting to save as much money as possible, he gave him the address and told him to come in the backdoor, just in case the cake was bad. The day of the party arrived and the monk visited the house with the most extravagant cake the family had ever seen. All of the guests were in awe, and whispered to each other about how much the cake could have costed. The monk became the guest of honor and at the end of the party, the father approached the monk and asked, "Why do you do this for free? You should take money for your services!" The monk smiled and said, "I do this for free because a cake day is the best way to earn karma."
It’s Christmas Eve. (I’ll let myself out…)
they become VERY ANGRY
I don't know why
Brocco Lee I'll see myself out.
But it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.
Wife: "How could you do this to me?!" Husband : "what did I do?" Wife: " You slept with my sister, you bastard!" Husband : "Well, when I went to work she was lying naked on my table and you know she's an attractive woman, what did you expect me to do?" Wife: "The fucking autopsy."
Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting and up on my desk by Friday midnight.
Honestly I should have noticed all the red flags
Nature’s biggest fan
Because it was feeling crumby! (Blatant cake joke for karma! LOL)
It didn’t stop ringing
So I punched him & stole his lunch money.
It doesn’t. It poops on my floor.
Because Thats The Only Way He Can Hear Me
The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 160 days, proving the country does not belong to China.
Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.
Because dawn is tough on Greece
"Surely it's not going to rain today?" She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley" …Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.
No text found
Should I let her know?
…except at a funeral
It’s parents were in a jam.
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.”
The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!” The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t want to go to Iraq either…
Now I just need to figure out if that's in Celcius or Fahrenheit
…I'm not sure what I'd do with the other $297,999,999.75 though.