Witchy witch
What is a geographers favourite genre of music?
World music
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away its broom.
How long does it take to master the art of Italian cooking?
Time cannoli tell
I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high
She looked surprised
I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?”
He responded, “can’t complain.”
My wife forgot the code to her luggage, but I figured it out.
You can say… I solved the case.
![[Announcement] If you keep spamming your youtube channels here then your post will be marked as spam.](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/no_image_card-103-400x247.png)
[Announcement] If you keep spamming your youtube channels here then your post will be marked as spam.
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I put all my watches together to make a belt
It was a waist of time
A student visits the principal’s office one day and the principal says to him, “What’s your name, son?” He replies, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” The principal looks up and asks him, “Oh, do you have a stutter?”
The student replies, “No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.”
I found a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
My girlfriend asked how do I view lesbian relationships…
Apparently 1080p wasn't the best answer.
What’s a pirates least favourite letter?
Dear sir, Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage. Sincerely, your service provider.
We all know where the big apple is
But does anyone know where the Minneapolis?
I was explaining to my son how a baton is used in relay races, and he understood right away.
I gotta hand it to him.
I heard they came up with a millennial version of the Monopoly game.
They just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
A man with no arms and legs was sun baking on the beach.
A gorgeous blonde was walking past him, stopped for a second with a tang of pity in her eyes. “Have you ever had a hug?” She asked. “No.” So with an “aww”, she gave him a big hug. Two minutes later, another beautiful woman was walking past the man. “Aw look at you honey. Have you ever been kissed?” “No.” He says. She leans down and gives him a passionate kiss. Another few minutes pass and another stunning lady walks past. “Oh you poor thing…Have you ever been fucked?” “No.” “Well you will be soon, the tides coming in.”
Accordion to a recent study, 90% of people didn’t realize
I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.
I just caught my husband asking somebody for dating advice…
He's just not sure that radiocarbon is the most reliable method.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.
I just finished reading “Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea.”
The entire novel was a sub-plot.
By previously legalizing same-sex marriage and now Marijuana, Canada have finally interpreted the bible correctly:
Leviticus 20:13 "If a man lies with another man he should be stoned."
![[OC] Guess The Pun #50: Dance like No Bun is Watching](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/no_image_card-28-400x247.png)
An electrical engineer is wrongly accused of a crime.
His name is Myto and he swears he did not kill anybody. However, all the evidence points to him. Of course, he gets 25 years in prison. When he gets to prison, he meets his bunkmate, Big Joel. Now, contrary to what you may think, Big Joel was not a rapist. In fact, he was the nicest man Myto had ever met. Big Joel helped him through his day, showing him where to eat, shower, and work out. Myto woke up every morning and had a Chocolate Brownie for breakfast. The only brownies the prison sold were from a strange company called Dria. Every night, however, Myto noticed something. The power always went out at exactly 9 PM. Being an electrical engineer, Myto decided to find out why this was the case. He asked his bunkmate, Big Joel why this happened. Big Joel shook his head and sighed. “Don’t know why it’s got to be this way. It just do. Power goes out every night at 9.” Myto was perplexed. He resolved to fix this issue using all his electrical engineering prowess. He realized that by using the strange brownies made by Dria, he could make a con brownie. He hid a very powerful battery that he stole from the guards and hooked it up to the wires of his cell. To his delight, the cell lit up! Of course, this didn’t sit well with the other prisoners. Why was Myto and Big Joel’s cell lighting up even after nine PM? One of the prisoners came up to Big Joel and asked him how the hell their cell was still lighting up. Big Joel promptly replied: Well, everyone knows Myto’s con Dria is the powerhouse of the cell
How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
Telltale Games will shut down…
Fans will remember that
Why doesn’t the moon shave?
Because it waxes
A professor, a janitor, and the school’s principal are leaving for the day when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day." The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After just a few minutes, he can't take the kids' screaming any longer, so he throws all his supplies and gives up. The principal says "I'll be a waitress. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze." She is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive her insane, so she smashes her plates on the ground and gives up. The janitor says "I'd like to be an artist." He is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, and sells it for several million dollars. The fairy asks the janitor "The other two did not go well at their job. How were you able to become so successful?" The janitor says "I have a masters degree in art."
Kids should not run with scissors
And lesbians should not scissor with the runs
