I'm only doing it to get my foot in the door.
coz switches be trippin,
It was devastating. I didn't do much to deserve it
1. 2. 3.
She never hears from them again except for the news that one baby was adopted by a Mexican couple, and the other was adopted by a couple from the Middle East. Years later she hires a private investigator to track down her two adopted children, just so she can find out how their lives have been. After months of searching, the investigator comes back to her with only a single photo of the boy adopted out to the Mexican couple. "There's no photo of the other child!?" the woman says, dismayed. The investigator shrugs. "Geeze, lady! They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
The kids are taking it pretty badly
I replied Kindergarten
Dog: Tell me a joke Man: Don’t be silly, you’re a dog Dog: Oh, go on Man: You’re a dog, you won’t understand Dog: Do it anyway, pleeeeese Man: OK. Knock Knock Dog: Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof……….
But it’s up there.
A lot of conditioning
Eventually we drifted apart.
If I would get to be the dad of a son, I'd name him Jason so on the moment of his birth I can get up and shout: "Jesus Christ, it's Jason, born!"
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!" His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
A good time ruined by a period.
Door opens and a beautiful young woman sits into their compartment. After a bit, while crossing her legs, the woman accidentally farts. She goes red to the tip of her hair so the Englishman gets up and says: "My apologies, madam, gentlemen, my lunch disagrees with me" After a while, the woman accidentally farts again. The Frenchman shoots up like a rocket and says: "Gentlemen, please excuse me, my lunch disagrees with me". Then the russian gets up and says: "I'm going out for a fag, if that bitch shits herself – it was me".
Usain bolt can finish a race
With a sea saw
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For Hispanic Attacks.
Our daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. Me: Okay, I'll have a coke. Bartender: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure. How much is that? Bartender: $3. Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
Nobody looks at you funny when you lick an envelope
The bartender says we don't serve your kind here, The mushroom says, why not? I'm a "fungi"!?
One. They are efficient and not very funny
But it was a Risk I was willing to take
If it isn't 3 holes in the ground…
I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
Because he never finished his sentences…
They are willing to pay for the wall now.