They both only have two fans
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
I said, "Naw, she isn't that ugly."
Often, she's a hoe.
But when it happens no one is shocked.
John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love—car mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in a car mechanics class and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took the entire four hours allotted. The following day, John was delighted and surprised to see a score of 150% for his exam. John spoke to his teacher after class. “I never dreamed I could do this well on the exam. How did I earn a score of 150%?” The teacher replied, “I gave you 50% for perfectly disassembling the car engine. I awarded another 50% for perfectly reassembling the engine. I gave you an additional 50% for having done all of it through the exhaust pipe.”
but she did migrate to California in 1849.
"Make me one with everything."
The odds were against me
Unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems: "I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said," Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.
His father grounded him
He prescribed two IKEA self assembly wardrobes.
A Sharpei 🖊
It's where I flip your MOM over
We're telling them tomorrow.
My friend and I frequently give conjugal visits to an all-female prison, to remind the inmates what it’s like for a selfless guy to go down on them.
It just gives us some scents of perp puss.
He didn’t stand a chance against all 5 of us
We must build taller schools
Because Monday is a weekday…
I wanted to name our son Miles but my wife thought we should go with something more universally accepted.
So we named him Kilometers
"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
A Guy sat next to me on the train and pulled a out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
I said, "If you think she is beautiful, you should see my missus mate. He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said, "No, she's an optician!"
We roleplayed as doctor and patient, and I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 58 minutes.