Works for MAGAs. Always.
It was a joint operation
I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
So they can fight knights.
He told me to stop masturbating and get the hell out of his office
"Saved For Later"
To blow off some steam 🙅♂️🚂
I call it a homie-hoe-stasis.
It didn't stop ringing
His grades were below C level.
It was Won Ton
I think it's just a stereotype.
Thanks daylight savings!
When they realize I’m not an electrician.
I will not die in vein!
He used praypal
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
That should make the cremation a little more interesting…
Guess who came crawling back
One was as-salted
He said, “You don’t seem to have much of a case.”
My wife is 37 weeks pregnant and is scheduled to be induced this morning. She woke up last night just after midnight (I checked) to use the washroom and when she got back into bed I asked her if it was after 12 yet. She said she thought so and asked why. I told her I wanted to be the first to wish her a Happy Birth Day! She appropriately groaned then giggled, so I think I'm ready. Wish me luck!
The student comes up to the professor, "What is this, why did you grade me an 80?" The professor looks at the exam again, "Yep, an 80 is what you deserve" The student takes the exam back, and asks "If I'll bite my own eye, will you give me an 85?" The professor is surprised, but still he agrees, at which point the student then takes out his glass eye – and bites it. The shocked professor then takes the exam back, and marks it 85. The student then says "If I'll bite my nose, will you give me a 90?" The professor is once again shocked, "He can't pull out his nose" he thinks to himself. He finally agrees, at which point the student takes out his dentures, and bites his own nose. The professor then once again takes the exam, and marks the grade 90. The student then makes another offer: "If I'll get up on this table, and pee the perfume Coco Chanel on you, will you give me a 100?" The professor now has to see what this kid can do, so he agrees. The student goes on the table, and pees all over the professor, the professor's shirt is soaking wet, as he goes to to sniff it. "What the hell?! This isn't Coco Chanel! This is piss!" The student then goes "Fine, we'll leave it at 90".
It's the best thing since sliced beard…
He yelled back, "Nah, I didn't pay for my haircut!"
It's a piece of cake.
A guy in the back shouts "you don't have enough bullets"
I don't listen and something else…
It gives them a lot of wiggle room.
Because Putin is not a woman.