Wow I never thought I’d see this outside of a movie lol
And conversely, you should never scissor with the runs.
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It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m ok with it.
Only a fraction of the people will get this joke
Because one egg is un oeuf.
I told her not to get her hopes up. "After all," I said, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute." When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This is your thirty-second birthday."
When it becomes apparent.
But her cousin cardio… now she really takes my breath away (A friend told me this when we had school and Jesus did it make me chuckle)
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke. Bartender: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure, how much is that? Bartender: $3. Me: There you go. So what’s the WiFi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase. EDIT: format
When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket. Now, I didn't buy it and he certainly didn't buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.
A man blind from birth hears about new surgery that can give him sight. He goes to the doctor who tells him he can do the surgery. He asks if being able to see will have any negative impacts on his life. "Well," the doctor says. "You won't be able to maintain an erection." "Is that a common side effect from the surgery," the blind man asks. "No," says the doctor. "It's just that your wife is ugly."
You will get jurasskicked
DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”
It was wong on so many levels
Because it gets smaller with every mistake I make.
then it is on the right foot
They were originally made in Greece
and sometimes Mayo neighs.
She said, "No thanks, there's already an asshole in there."
Because It would be the longest 6 months of his life.
Because he wasn't born yesterday
Before my girlfriend and i made love for the first time, she said, "i want this night to be magical" so after we made love i disappeared
This isn't where they be long.
It's much harder to deter gents.
There is no menu, you get what you deserve.
Unfortunately, too many of them got elected.
Then you’ll get a, “Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis!"
It couldn't handle the bars.