Wow very destructor
It's an autumn mobile.
Guess who came crawling back
I said "6' 2", but good guess."
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness
We all make fun of them, but when we’re inside one at 4am we’re glad they’re around.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea
Gabe raised his hand first. He said, "Predator." "Clever answer! They sure eat things!" The teacher told him. Next, Dylan raised his hand. "Oh! I know! Raptor!" "You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things," the teacher said. Then, little Timmy answered. "Vibrator!" The class went dead silent. The teacher told Timmy, "Um Timmy, I don't think vibrators eat things…" Timmy was confused. "Really? My sister told me it ate through batteries like crazy!"
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
It's a piece of cake.
I gave him a glass of water.
He needed to cool the crust, so he put it on the mantle.
I'm sorry, that wasnt very knife.
I'm just doing it for the Monet
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
"Thank you for telling me," he replies "but you've been here for years, it's our church." The next day the nun goes to the priest and says "father, there's a broken window in your- I mean, our, church." He thanks her again and calls for a repairman. The following day the priest is preparing for a visit from the local bishop. As he is weeding the gardens, he cuts his hand. Calling the nun over he says "there's a bottle of rubbing alcohol in my quarters somewhere, could you fetch it for me?" The nun nods and goes looking for it. It is as the priest is greeting the bishop that she returns from the church and loudly announces "father, don't worry about the weed, the alcohol was under our bed!"
I said, “Don’t cry over skilled MILF.”
…"There are 99 people in that choir." My son, who was with me, asked, "Wow dad! How did you count them so quickly?" I replied, "They are singing "Africa" by Toto. It's something that a hundred men or more could never do."
Car roof: slaps Isaac Newton
He said Dad why don’t you use a sponge like the other dads?
Sorry just practicing
– It's about time!