Ya Bernt
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline become apparent.
Why was my post removed
Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed? I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.
My wife tried to embarrass me in front of her friends….
She said I wasn't any good in bed. She was shocked when they all disagreed with her!
A guest calls the waiter and complains, āHow come there are no chairs at our table?!ā
The waiter shrugs, āIām sorry but you only booked one tableā¦ā
What is muffins spelled backwards?
Exactly what you do when you take them out of the oven.
Iron Man is technically a FEmale.
I will down vote myself on the way out….
Whatās the warmest part of a room?
The corners. Theyāre 90 degrees.
What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common?
One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
1,2,3,4 and 5 are sitting in class, why did 3 get kicked out?
He was being mean
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago..
and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.
Whatās the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?
Iāve never had a garbanzo bean on my face before.
Why donāt you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because theyāre really good at it
The word ādiputseromneveā may look ridiculousā¦
…but backwards, itās even more stupidā¦
Boobs are like the sun
You can only stare at them for a few seconds . But if you put sunglasses on, you can stare at them all you want.
Why didnāt the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's okay, the teacher woke him up!
I called the doctor “My wife is going into labor! What should I do?” “Is this her first child?” he asked.
"No, this is her husband."
Target suggesting I travel over 4500 miles to buy my daughter a $200 bike today.
https://ift.tt/2Y0PiPb
How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They only talk about change.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet.
I asked my 18 siblings and they donāt know either.
I named my eraser Confidence…
Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.
My girlfriend broke up with me because Iām a compulsive gambler…
Ever since, all I can think about is how to win her back.
I’d tell a Jonestown joke, but
the punchline is too long
