Yeah
Is the world ready for ejaculating clocks?
I guess we'll know when the time comes.
Girl 1: Mother, why is my name Rose?
Mother: Because when you were just a precious little baby, a rose fell off a tree and onto your head. Girl 2: But mother, why am I named Blossom? Mother: Well my darling, same with you; a blossom blew from a tree and onto your head. Girl 3: Mufaghh ma waafaa maaa? Mother: How about you stop fucking complaining, Coconut?
How do you find your dog if it’s lost in the woods?
Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!
Geology rocks. But geography is where it’s at.
No text found
OC boomer comics are now limited to Sundays. If it’s satire, it belongs on r/antiboomershumor
This decision was based on feedback from both users and moderators.If you have any feedback or comments on how the sub is doing, or how it’s being run, please comment below.phone bad
My asian parents are actually very supportive of my career path
They let me pick which medical school I'm going to
Marathon runner ran 26.3 miles to spell out “BOSTON STROG” in her fitness app
https://ift.tt/2VtzPWC
A gorgeous nymphomaniac boarded a plane…
A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo – she took the seat right beside him. "Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States …" He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.." "Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish." Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!" "Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
People are like trees…
They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank
I have no words to describe how angry I am
My wife yelled at me to put the toilet seat down
I can’t even remember why I was carrying it around
Today I saw two blind people fighting…
I shouted "I'm supporting the one with the knife" they both ran away..
Where do camels go on vacation
Notre Dame
A cop pulls over a car with two priests. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, “We’re looking for two child molesters.”
The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop. “We’ll do it.”
The only thing that flat earthers have to fear…
is sphere itself
I just broke two of my dad’s old Queen records
Now I want to break three.
A priest, an alcoholic, and a child molester walk into a bar…
And that's just the first guy.
Don’t be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years!
Why did the semen cross the road?
I put the wrong socks on this morning
What do you call an angry nut?
A pissed-achio
I pushed a chinese person down a flight of stairs
It was wong on so many levels
If someone gave you $1,000,000 to replace their fuse…
would you refuse?
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 93,934 matches.
What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to a dinner party?
The cold shoulder.
A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
"Father, father!" he says to the farmer, "This subreddit is amazing! It's full of so many good jokes, I wish I could be just as funny as all the redditors I've seen." The farmer laughs at his son and tells him, "Son, if you really want to be like the redditors on r/Jokes you'll have to first sow your Ohsts." His son looks at him, perplexed. "What on earth are 'Ohsts'? I've never seen you with those." "I know you've heard the saying 'you reap what you sow', and the same saying applies reddit," the farmer tells his son. "Those redditors just sow their Ohsts so they can reap Ohst, reap Ohst, and reap Ohst."
From now on all boomer reaction memes will be removed. (Boomers: Insert laughing here)
This sub is for comics and nothing else. If you have any questions please leave a comment on here.Edit: Proud of you guys! Thank you for following the rules!
What is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is big and heavy and one is a little lighter.
What do you call a group of mountains?
Hilarious.
