Years ago, I had a job translating pre Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
For my black jeep…
Many people were disgusted, but it's none of my business so I told him: "You do you."
He was going to be all ripe.
Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
They had been lost for a long time and were both starving. While walking, one of the hunters notices a tree that has thin slices of meat hanging from it. He yells to the other and points towards the tree: "Look, we're saved!!! There's a BACON TREE!!!". He starts running for the tree when all of a sudden a group of armed men appear and start shooting at him. The hunter turns right back and yells at his friend "RUN!!! IT'S NOT A BACON TREE, IT'S A HAM BUSH!!!!"
Thanks for nothing.
It's the cleaning craze that's sweeping the nation!
He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.
He says, "uno, dos…" poof … He disappeared without a tres.
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
And his dad replies, "Pussy!" The son tells him, "I don't get it…" And his dad says, "I know you don't."
I got arrested for a salt!
His name is Carson.
when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted’s penis was twisted like a corkscrew. “Blimey,” Ed said. “I’ve never seen one like that before.” “Like what?” Ted said. “All twisted like a pigs tail,” Ed said. “Well what’s yours like?” Ted said. “Well straight like normal,” Ed said. “I thought mine was normal `til I saw yours,” Ted said. Ed finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shake down prior to putting it back in his pants. “What did you do that for?” Ted said. “Shaking off the excess drops,” Ed said. “Like normal.” “Shit,” Ted said. “And all these years I’ve been wringing it!”
Fans will remember that
If it is, I don't get it
Dear Sir/Ma'am, We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons: Illegal Downloading
A reptile dysfunction.
We had some drinks, cool guy, says he wants to be a web-developer
tosses him a frisbee
This is as close as I could get.
On his second day he'll legalize it everywhere else.
She’s a mathemachicken
No shit Sherlock
…jeeze I was young back then.
The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persisted and asked to see the manager. The boy said he'd ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager: 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to suddenly find the man standing right behind him, so quickly he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.' The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later, the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?' ‘Canada, sir,' the boy replied. 'Well, why did you leave Canada?' the manager asked. The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.' ‘Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada.' ‘No shit?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'