Because it’s pasture bedtime.
He tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three, "Uno" "Dos" And then he vanished, and disappeared without a tres
But I didn’t believe him because he said it with a straight face
It trained and trained, and finally went to try out for the koala national soccer team. And wouldn't you know it? It made the team! It was so excited. But the night before it's first big game… POOF! It turned into a giraffe. It got dis-koala-fied.
"What's the usual tip?" asked a customer. "Well," said Johnny, "this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I'd be doing great." "Is that so?" growled the customer. "In that case, here's twenty dollars." "Thanks. I'll put it in my college fund," Johnny said. "By the way, what are you studying?" asked the customer. "Applied psychology." – Edit: This is not my joke
As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, “The baby’s coming! Don’t stop the car! Won’t make it! WON’T! CAN’T!”
"Driver, hurry!" I cried. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"
I get scared just thinking about it!
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods… “I’ll tell you, I'd thought I was going to drop dead that third day." “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor. “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
But a Tiger Wood!
But when i got out of prison, it was totally worth it
They keep moving around.
They both have a good time.
Me : "Okay, so I would identify as a bisexual." Dad : "And that means you would have a male partner." Me : "Yeah." Dad : "Or a female partner." Me : "Yeah." Dad : "So… That means if you don't find a partner, you're on standbi?" ME : ME : ME : ME : "Son of a b…"
But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I’m not one of them.
"Dad where have you been?"
Let me know if you can't come
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set, so I threw the bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
…if you haven’t botany
and it doesn't.
To beat the crowd.
She said no, she thinks I'm just after my money.
“Wait, I can explain everything.”
Don’t worry about him. He’s just a product of our times.
They tower under everyone else.
I’ll let you know.
But it's harder to deter gents. I'll let myself out.
The corolla virus.
My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
But I didn't see the point.