She's starting to sound like my wife
Now more of their users are getting off than ever.
I complimented him on the quality of his ride. He said “well son if you work hard and put in those extra hours, in a few years I’ll get another.”
No! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!?
But apparently, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
A young woman goes to her doctor about two small rashes on her thighs. The doctor tests her for allergies, and then asks “Ma’am, are you a lesbian?” The woman stares for a second, then says “Yes, I am. Why?” “There’s the problem.” the doctor said “Tell your girlfriend to stop wearing cheap earrings.”
He asked the Pirate Captain. “Why do you have a wooden leg?” The Pirate Captain replied. “Argh. I was swimming in the ocean and a shark bit me leg off so I have this wooden peg to replace what’s gone”. The boy then asked. “Why do you have a hook for a hand?” The Pirate Captain said. “Argh. I was swimming in the ocean and a shark bit me hand off so I have this hook to replace what’s gone”. The boy finally asked. “Why do you have a glass eye?” The Pirate Captain lowered his head slightly and replied. “A grain of sand blew up off the deck and got in me eye”. The boy stood there confused. The Pirate Captain, raising his head back up, said to the boy. “Argh. It was me first day with the hook”.
It's about time
Fill it with spring water.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Well, it's 2:30 now and she hasn't walked at all
Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin". "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia". "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
One. They are efficient and not very funny
If it gets any worse, I guess I’ll have to let her in.
I don’t know why
It’s made with hole milk.
That would be admitting that 2021
One day I’ll pretend to be gay. I’ll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected…BAAM!!!
I'll have sex with their boyfriends
"where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
…that's Hawai'i roll…
But when I do, he laughs.
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Its called a microwave
Because they can't even.