Yes
I was gonna give archery a shot
But theres too many drawbacks Edit: Heckin thanks for the platinum!!!
Is slaying cheeks worth the risk in the pandemic
https://youtu.be/J3bVYE2B-2s
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes …
But I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey "
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers ?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them
Why did no one want to marry the tennis player?
Love meant nothing to him.
If Hooters started delivering
Would they change their name to knockers?
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar…
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face. "Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man. "That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man. "But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man. "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man. So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man. "Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man. "It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man. "What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man. "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
What’s the opposite of urine?
I'm out
I have some jokes about unemployed people.
But I know they won't work.
“You’re addicted!”
"No, I'm not. And stop calling me Ted!"
Honestly women shouldn’t have children after 35
That'd be way too many
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”
What do you call it when a midget gives head?
A below job
“Mickey, it says here that you killed Minnie because she was ‘really silly’?”
"No", replies Mickey, "I said she was fucking Goofy."
Magician: “For this trick I’m gonna dissapear”
Magician: Looking at pear “You’re ugly!”
A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,
There are no firearms allowed in this building.
Do you suffer from anxiety that an intruder may be hiding in your room?
You're not alone.
If anyone needs a tip on where to store leftover Halloween candy…
I’ve got a few Twix up my sleeve.
Why is it wrong to punch the wall when you’re frustrated?
The wall has never been anything but supportive.
My family treats me as though I’m a god…
…ignoring my existence until they need something.
How I used to survive off 4 hours a sleep a night is crazy
How I used to survive off 4 hours a sleep a night is crazy
So Tekashi69 could face life in prison
Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence
Recruiter: ,,Can you explain the gap in your resume?” 💬
Recruiter: ,,Can you explain the gap in your resume?” 💬
I wanted to be a monk…
But I never got the chants.
Whats the hardest thing about having sex with a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice juuust right
Why was the virgin left hanging?
No text found
Our wedding was so beautiful…
even the cake was in tiers.
Chicken walks into a bar
Bartender says "Wrong joke, yours is across the road"